Fearful of night time

[Ellie05]

Hello,

I've been posting a lot here lately, mainly because it gives me a few minutes relief from the anxiety that currently consumes me. 

I fear getting through each part of the day - the period before I have to leave for work, travelling to work, getting through the day and then getting through the evening. But the most scary time for me is night time. I've been talking to my mum about it and she said, 'it must be horrible to be all alone in the dark, feeling horrible'. She really hit the nail on the head. Night time is when my anxiety really runs wild as I'm too tired to have any control over my thoughts and there's little stimulus to distract me. I get little sleep and spend most of the time pacing around the apartment trying to ease the anxiety, going back to bed, having the anxiety flare up again and so forth.

 It really sucks. That's all I have to say.

[Wahoo42]

I know how you feel to a degree some of it i can relate too we just need to change our thinking pattern and get rid of the neg thoughts its hard but i guess it comes down to the flight or fight mode etc I'm sure there others out there who go thru similar to this love to hear how they deal with it too .......be strong 

[Simona]

That is sad.   I don't know what it's like to be alone at night because I have never lived alone.  

Maybe get a kitten if possible. Because it's nice to have animals around even if it's just a jamjar fish to keep  on your bedside table.   I can't imagine life without animals around me.  Our dog Bandicoot always knows when I'm feeling detached because she will just hop on my lap and want a pat or she will try and kiss me.

Ps- Jam jar fish = Siamese fighter fish

I hope I helped and I'm very sorry you are suffering 

[Mummybee]

Hi Ellie05

i don't live alone so I can't relate there, but I can relate in the lack of distraction comment.

ill often wake very early or in the middle of the night while everyone else is asleep. I cannot get up, I would wake my husband and my kids. My anxiety is gripping in the dark with no distractions so I use my iPad.

as soon as I'm awake a grab it and play mind numbing games like candy crush to keep my mind off my thoughts. Sooner or later I feel my eyelids get heavy and I can drift off.

i don't know if this is an option for you, but i thought it might be worth sharing in case it helps you too.

thinking of you in this tough time

 mummybee

[Ellie05]

Hi Mummybee,

Unfortunately the anxiety is too intense for me to be able to focus on something like a game. I'm just going through a really bad couple of days and hoping it will ease up soon. Thanks for your support.

[Ellie05]

Hi Simona,

Unfortunately I can't have pets in my apartment 😞

I do live with housemates, however they're both asleep through the night so I'm essentially on my own. 

I'm hoping the sleepless nights will ease up soon.

Thanks for your support.

[Ellie05]

Thank you for you support - it is hard. Changing my negative thoughts is going to be a long process, but I hope to get there with the help of my psychologist.

[Mummybee]

Ellie05

what are your negative thoughts based on at the moment?

mummybee 

[HelenM]

Hi Ellie 05,

Firstly, my doctor allows me sleeping tabs 3 nights a week (mon. wed. fri.) that way I won't become dependent. Would that be of any help to you?

The other point: I develop different fears that usually go of their own accord. If you can make them go, that's good. Distraction (and I know that's not an option at night) is the only way I can get rid of them. I don't try to make them go because they just push harder and I feel I've failed. Everybody's different. We can't think physical pain away and I can't think mental pain away. That's how I see it anyway. My thoughts are linked to my mental illness.

I hope your problems ease. Mental anguish is so hard to handle.

Take care, Helen

[Ellie05]

Hi Mummybee,

I have a lot of negative thoughts that keep me up at night. I think they come through in my dreams. I lost a job a few months back and that crushed my confidence. I also just started a new one and am nervous it won't work out. I've always been too anxious to date so I fear never finding a partner and having kids. I fear losing the people I love most as I know that's something I'll have to face someday. Our landlord just recently sold our place so I'm also worried about where to live. 

Sometimes I don't think I'm having thoughts at all, the anxiety just seems to have taken on a life of it's own. It's got the point where I'm more fearful of the anxiety than anything else. I know this type of intense anxiety can't last forever and I'm already starting to improve. However when you're in the middle of it it's difficult to see that.