Failing At Life

[The_Recluse]

I’m 18, 19 in a few days. Last year I dropped out of college half way through the year and I have literally done nothing since. It’s been over a year of doing nothing, no job, no drivers license and no real socialising.

I feel like I’m stuck.

I’ve been applying to jobs but I have no real qualifications and any job I do qualify for is too hard to get to. As stated above I can’t drive and I live too far out, the buses don’t come this way very often. I’ve thought about going back to study but without a job I can’t afford it. I still live with my parents and they make just enough to be considered too much so I can’t get a study allowance.

To make matters worse I’ve lost touch with all my friends. I’ve always been shy and introverted, preferring to stay at home and read a book rather then go to parties but now that I don’t go to school I don’t catch up with my friends every day like I used to. For a while they would invite me out but I just kept making up excuses because they’d made new friends and I didn’t want to be an awkward tag along. Now the invitations have stopped and I feel so alone. I know it’s my fault.

This Sunday is my birthday and I asked those friends if they’d want to go to dinner on Saturday night but most of them were busy and two of them didn’t even bother to reply to me.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just sad all the time and the thought of having to force myself out there, back into the world of socialising, after being extremely anti-social for so long makes me want to scream and ugly cry. But I feel it’s necessary to get myself out of this horrible rut. Like ripping off a bandaid.

I just really need some advice/guidance please. I get really bad anxiety over all this and about having to socialise. I’m constantly getting bad migraines and feeling sick.

[white knight]

Hi recluse, welcome

Yes I have a few ideas. Study these fully then decide.

At 4 days after my 17th birthday I joined the RAAF. I had an adult wages, cheap accommodation, learned a trade, made friends, travelled and set myself up for life with good grounding.

If that isnt your thing consider moving to a shared house close to the city. You must have access to work or study.

There is a mental process that might need addressing- positivity.

Change your thoughts to "what I have not what I dont". Eg you have a roof over your head some dont, food, clothing etc some dont. I dont want to sound like Im lecturing you though. In 1982 life changed for me forever.

Google:

Topic : 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Topic: accepting yourself, the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Topic: do we expect a smooth road in life?- beyondblue

Topic: successfully overcoming challenges- beyondblue

Topic : motivation, search and rescue it- beyondblue

Youve just made a great step by posting here. By the way, expect to drift from friends, its normal

Tony WK

[Ulysses]

Hi recluse

your story resonates with me. I think the hardest thing for people like us is sometimes to maintain friendships when they’re not part of our daily life, as in work. I think working if you can do it puts you in a more family like situation where you spend all your time with these people so they become a part of you. The biggest problem I think is feeling that just because your friends aren’t responding or keeping in touch that it makes you a worthless person but this is not the case at all. I remember Nelson Mandela’s was on Oprah once and he said he was a social misfit. Imagine that! Thing is he also said that it is the social misfits who will change the world. You are just as important to the world as Nelson Mandela’s and any other human being

[white knight]

Hi the recluse

Ulysses quote

"You are just as important to the world as Nelson Mandela’s and any other human being"

Great sentence...

Tony WK