Extreme health anxiety/hypochondria

[PsychoBear]

Male-23yrs

2 weeks ago I overheard a conversation between my mother and sister, my sister was found to be anaemic in her blood test aswell as having one positive and one negative FOB test. I heard my mum tell my sister "Make sure to let them know we have a family history of bowel cancer." (My dad's mum died of it in her 70s, there are rumours that 2 of my great-uncles on my mum's side also died of it in their 50s) At first I didn't think much of it but then something started creeping in. I started to pay attention to my stools after this and noticed a slightly dull pain in the lower left of my abdomen which wasn't intense and would fade in and out sometimes.

I've gotten paranoid about checking the consistency of my stools, looking for signs of black or red and convincing myself every time I saw either that it was blood (despite diet consisting of red and black foods). Over time I've slowly gotten worse, noticing these things and seeing how the shape of my stool would be on the change constantly, a different shape almost every single time I go. I'm freaking out because it might look flat/low calibre and then the next one will look relatively normal, the one after that will just be mostly water/bile and then back to normal again. I'm constantly getting paranoid about the overall colour or smell. Within the last week or so I've barely eaten at all because I feel nauseous at the idea of food and bloated when I do push myself to eat, even water is difficult for me to deal with. I'm up strange hours and wake up feeling like I barely slept at all even if I go back to sleep for more time, I'm scared to go to the toilet in-case I see a large or noticeable amount of blood, every time I do see a small bit of blood on the toilet paper I get scared, even when it's just a barely visible dot of it (I have an external hemorrhoid, which I've had for years and generally I wouldn't worry about seeing blood as it was always attributed to that by my parents) and now I'm convinced I've got bowel cancer and it's stage 3 or 4 and that I'll be dead within a couple years at absolute best. I'm constantly googling and finding stories of people who went through this around my age and how many of them were absolutely fine and then suddenly were diagnosed with stage 4 cancers. I cry at the smallest things and the idea that my life is over. The doctor believes it's IBS and is running tests but the wait is killing me. Please help.

[Croix]

Dear PsychoBear~

Having such a concentrated worry about cancer is a terrible thing to have to live though, and I'm sure that intellectually you know both that slight signs of blood can have many causes and cancer is only (a rare) one one of them.

I've had many tests for heart, bowel and other things over time, mainly becuse my anxiety has caused physical symptoms to appear, and IBS is one of them. In fact particularly at the start I'd find it very difficult to accept the test results - which were always negative - and wold try to find reasons why they might be invalid.

Still I've come to accept them now.

In some ways it may be better to address the underlying cause, the anxiety, and not concentrate so much on the physical symptoms - not easy to do I know. Stopping Dr Google would be a start. Have you discussed anxiety testing and treatment with your doctor, who is after all is the best person to judge?

Trying for distraction and as healthy a lifestyle as possible would seem to be the way to go at the moment. Exercise, nutrition and healthy sleep all reduce stress levels and thus anxiety. As does trying to avoid situations that increase stress (I avoid the news for one thing).

If you look at Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY you will find a lot of things other people have found have helped.

Is there anyone in your family or a freind you can talk frankly with? Someone who you know cares and might be able to give some perspective as to what is reasonable. I often catastrophize and rely upon my partner to give me a realistic view of things

Croix

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Psychobear,

Welcome to the forum and it is great that you are posting on here about your health concerns and related anxiety. It is not uncommon for people to experience worry around an illness where there is family history. This is actually much more common than you think.

In your post, it does sound as though you anxiety around having an illness has become unmanageable. I wonder if in any of your appointments with your GP you have mentioned your stress and recurrent worry? If you have not, it might be a good place to start. Sometimes anxiety itself can be specifically related to a situation and once that situation resolves (for example, you get all your test results back and they are negative), the anxiety fades. If the anxiety does not fade and persists and you have a continued worry about your bowel function, or start worrying about something else with equal intensely, then you may require some intervention.

Most people have some degree of worry which is normal. But when it starts interfering with things like eating, sleeping and being able to concentrate, then you might find getting some support to work through your worry might be helpful. The best place to start would be with your GP and possibly getting a mental health care plan so you can access a psychologist.

I wonder if you feel comfortable speaking to your mum or someone else you trust about your worry? Another outlet is calling the beyondblue support line on 1300 22 4636 where the operators will talk with you about your concerns and you can gain some immediate support.

Having worries about your health is common but when anxiety gets so bad that it starts to interfere with how you function, it is time to get some support. You have already started this journey by posting on the forum and now I encourage you to take this a step further by calling talking with your GP or someone you trust or reaching out by calling the beyondblue support line.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn

[Manalishi]

Boy oh boy can I relate to your story as of late. I started SSRIs a month ago, and a side effect was horrible IBS , to the point where 2 weeks ago I saw red chunks in my stool, which were probably bits of tomato/onion upon further reflection. It hasn't happened since, and during the 2 days between meds I had when I switched, my movements returned to normal, but that isolated incident, combined with the occasional flair-ups I had with my anxiety, have gotten me worried. It's so frustrating that this has to happen during the Christmas period too, when GPs etc. are so hard to get a hold of.

[PsychoBear]

Thank you all for taking the time to post here, even just your responses have been enough to make me teary.

I've been talking with friends and family, none of whom think I'm dying and that I'm actually just making myself overly sick with anxiety and stress. I've even pushed a couple of friends away due to it because I drove them mad constantly only talking about how the results are going to come back positive, that the doctor's wrong, that I won't have long to live. My mother and sister are nurses so I'm talking to them constantly, both of them are sure this is just IBS mixed with stress and anxiety, which is what the doctor believes aswell. He's talked about a new medication he wants to try and a good psych to send me to in the new year, once I come off my current medication. I find out the results tomorrow afternoon, I've already imagined how I want to walk in there and say "I know they're positive already, when's the colonoscopy?" and try to be tough about it but I know I can't do that. I'll take the time to read up on some tips to help reduce my anxiety and stress levels, despite my mind just tells me it's all too late and there's no point.

[PsychoBear]

Update: All the test results came back negative and the doctor has reaffirmed his stance that it's just a bad case of IBS coupled with stress/anxiety. I've been given some new medication to go on until I can see a psychiatrist in the new year.

[Croix]

Dear PsychoBear~

I'm very glad your test have come back negative. As I mentioned that's happened to me too, and accepting them as being accurate was hard at first, but easier over time. Hopefully the new meds and psych visits will start to put you mind at ease and the IBS will quieten down.

Croix