'dream-like' state

[44Max44]

The past few days I've felt like I've been in a 'dream-like' state, almost as if I'm living in a simulation of my life but not my actual life. I've found it extremely hard to think about or focus on anything other than my mental and physical health and constantly feel not quite all there mentally. I've found that I've been overly careless and just disinterested in most things. Usually talking to other people can help me break out of this state and bring me back to reality, but I can't do anything when I'm alone, so the night is especially daunting for me.

I really want to go to my GP and book a Mental Healthcare Plan and have been planning to for months now, but I never end up going down. I'm not really sure why I'm so hesitant to go, but I really want to. Going to the GP and talking about physical things I'm fine with, it's just the mental stuff I'm too worried to talk about.

I've tried to find similar posts on the forums about this type of issue, but none of them quite fit exactly what I'm experiencing, hence the new post. Sorry for all the posts I've made in the few days, there's just been a lot on my mind.



Any and all help is appreciated.

[44Max44]

Hi Dools,

I went into the GP this morning and the doctor said it was nothing to worry about with my nose, but I had some blood tests done to see if I might have some allergies which will be interesting to see.

I can usually tell exactly when my mind switches from being calm to worrying about stuff, I listen to the voice in my head and see why I'm worrying so much, then I replace those thoughts with rational ones, or at least that's the general idea. I can never stop myself from assuming the worst, but sometimes I can nip it at the bud and stop it before I start getting really anxious.

I'm doing relatively well now, I'm pretty much just waiting for Monday's appointments to get the results from my test and to do the MHCP. I'm just glad I'm finally doing something about my mental health.

Cheers,
Max

[44Max44]

I've now gotten myself into the mind-loop that my right eye feels a little bit 'off' and since anything to do with my sight is my worst fear it's been pretty miserable. My eye doesn't even hurt or anything like that, I just kind of feel like it feels a little bit 'off', and sometimes it seems like my vision in my right eye is a little bit worse than my left, which also concerns me.

It's only when I focus on that feeling and 'check' myself that my eye actually feels this way, but I still can't seem to figure out whether it's just a symptom of anxiety or actually there, which just adds to the anxiety 😕

I'm not all too worried about it because I'm going into the GP on Monday and if it still concerns me by then I can tell the doctor, but it's still a little distressing.

If it ends up being nothing, that'll just be another symptom to add to my book of anxiety. I'm pretty sure it's nothing and I hope that's the case.

Has anyone else experienced eye/sight-related symptoms from anxiety? If so please let me know.

[44Max44]

An update:

I went in for a Mental Healthcare Plan today, and it was good. My doctor's opinion was that I have 'mixed anxiety and depression', which sounds about right. He's referred me to a psychiatrist and psychologist, which I have to ring up tomorrow. I'm just hoping the waiting list isn't too bad, because it can range from anything from a week to 3 months...

I'm feeling alright now, I'm not super anxious and my mind has eased up with the constant thoughts quite a bit. I still have the feeling in my eye, though, but I'm not super concerned about it now.

Now it's just a waiting game until I can get an appointment, in the meantime I'm going to try my hardest to be productive and actually enjoy myself. Last night I actually managed to watch some Netflix without being constantly interrupted by unwanted thoughts, so that's a start I guess.


cheers

[Doolhof]

Hi Max,

That is great news about the Mental Health Care Plan. Congratulations on seeing the Dr and getting the ball rolling.

Hopefully you have been able to make an appointment to see both people. You can also ask to be placed on the cancellation list, so you may be considered if someone is unable to attend an appointment.

A psychologist told me to try to accept the negative thoughts as just thoughts. Not always easy. Distractions do help. Sometimes I am able to consider the thoughts in my head and ask myself if I really need to pay them any attention.

Regarding your eye, is it possible for you to have it checked at an eye/glasses place. Usually that is covered by Medicare I believe.

Last weekend I visited my Dad for Father's Day. He lives some distance away so I was away for 3 days. I went for walks each morning and really enjoyed seeing the early dawn.

Hope you find ways to help yourself while you are waiting for your appointments.

All the best from Dools

[44Max44]

Hi Dools, thanks for the advice about the cancellation list, I'll definitely make sure I ask to be put on it. That early morning walks seem exactly like what I need right now.

It seems like every day I come up with something new to worry about, a couple of days ago it was my eye, yesterday it was stomach, and today I've convinced myself that I have something wrong with my throat. It's not even sore or anything except for the occasional ache (that could just be in my head), I just have a sensation like there's a lump or something in there, and I'm tricking myself into thinking I'm having trouble breathing when I can breathe completely fine. I was so worried that I rode down to the GP at 7pm just so I could get a doctor to look at it to make sure I'm fine, but they couldn't fit me in.

Health Anxiety has by far been the hardest thing I've had to deal with in my life and can be debilitating at times.
Even the hardest of tasks seem like nothing compared to dealing with Health Anxiety daily. Every morning I wake up seems like a miracle with all the 'things' I convince myself I have.

I'm just going to try my best to keep myself calm until my next GP visit when I get the blood test results back, and if by then I'm still worried about anything, I can tell the doctor.


Thanks for the reply

All the best,
Max

[44Max44]

So, it turns out it wasn't all in my head (well, I guess it is technically) as the doctor said I have tonsillitis and conjunctivitis, yay. I have to go on two sets of antibiotics. In some sick sort of way I'm kind of glad these feelings weren't just in my head and had logical explanations. This is the first time I've been sick with pretty much anything in years, and I hope it stays that way.

Mental health-wise, I had Headspace call me up today and say they can't fit me in for at least 2 months, so now I have to go into the GP for plan B, which I assume will just be me getting referred to somewhere else.

[Doolhof]

Hi Max,

I hope the antibiotics clear up the infections. It must be difficult for you when your mind has these anxieties about your health and you don't really know what is a genuine issue. Good thing you can get into your Dr quickly to get these issues sorted.

Unfortunately it can take a while to get in to see someone for mental health assistance. While you are waiting for help, could you use the support phone lines like at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or Life Line? I have used both services and found them to be helpful.

Depending on your area, some Churches and other organisations have counsellors at a low cost who may be able to assist you. You do not have to be of any faith to use the Church supports.

Have you heard of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? This is a kind of formula for helping yourself deal with issues. There are steps to follow. You write down and issue and then basically pull it apart and try to find solutions.

I don't recall if I have suggested you look at the Beyond Blue website and read the information there on anxiety.

Do you have any plans for the weekend? You may be feeling a bit tired with your infections, so do you have ideas on how to fill in your time? Too much time on my hands makes my mind wander tot he negative sometimes!

Having some ideas on activities to do helps with that, even if it is reading for an hour for me.

Cheers to you from Dools

[44Max44]

Hi Dools, thanks again for the reply.

I actually live right next to a church, so if they do have counselling that would be perfect for me. I'll have to do some research and see what I'd have to do to get some counselling if they have it.

I have heard of CBT, and I practiced it a little bit a while back, but never really got heavily into it. I'll have to read up on that too and start doing it more often.

The most difficult part of all of this is not knowing what I'm actually feeling, and what's just a symptom of anxiety. I put my throat and eyes feeling 'off' as just another symptom of anxiety, and even posted about them on here, but the whole time it was actually a real issue and not just imagined.
I did notice that with all my anxiety symptoms, they all go away when I'm not feeling anxious, but both my throat and eye problems never went away even when not feeling anxious, so that should have been a giveaway that it wasn't just in my head.
However, this is the first time one of the things I was anxious about actually ended up being something, so I'm not overly worried.

As for plans for the weekend, I have nothing. I was pretty much planning on just living on the couch and watching Netflix while these infections get treated, but if I have the energy I'll try to do something productive. If nothing else, I can do some research on CBT and that kind of stuff.


Thanks again,
Cheers

[Doolhof]

Hi Max,

Thanks also for your reply. There is another strategy that might be beneficial and maybe easier to use than CBT. This is called Structured Problem Solving. The style I was shown has different steps:

- Write down the problem that is causing you to feel anxious

- Think about your options for dealing with this problem (in this step, I like to write down all kinds of helpful, weird, funny, strange and negative thoughts that pop up. A bit of humour helps deal with the process.)

- Consider the advantages and disadvantages to all or some of your ideas.

- Identify the best options

- Consider how you may be able to implement these options

Controlled breathing and relaxing can certainly help as well.

Some time on the couch watching Netflix sounds like a plan! It will be beneficial to rest and allow your body to heal.

You could also Google your area to see if there are any counsellors around. Some Churches these days have websites that tell you what they have available.

I think our weather is going to be rather wintery here, lovely! I might enjoy doing a bit of arts and crafts and be creative.

Cheers to you from Dools

[44Max44]

I've taken your advice and have started writing a 'Anxiety Journal' on my phone. Now, whenever I feel anxious about something I'll have it logged on my phone so I can go back and reference it whenever I like.
I definitely think this will become a regular thing for me and will come back with whatever progress I make.

Cheers