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Derealisation
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Hi Ladys,
I have posted about this on a previous forum one that you had also posted in. It hasnt come up yet so I cant copy and paste but in a little bit, take a look at my answer or I will try post it on here after work.
In short, i want you to know that you arent alone in this and that with time and practice, it will get better. I read that apparently many people if not all experience derealisation at some stage in their life when they are tired or super stressed. I was suprised! I almost didnt believe it so i started asking people i knew about it. All that i spoke to said 'yeah what about it? Its just from being tired and stressed' It didnt phase them. They just acknowledged that it was a feeling and that was it. The way that I had beaten it in the past, as strange as it sounds, was just accepting that it was there. That it was a response to severe stress but not dangerous. It took time but it did eventually diminish. I have heard that drugs and alcohol, especially marijuana and extacy can trigger those feelings of derealisation. It may be good to also chat to a psychologist about it and get their take on it.
I hope it eases up for you soon. I understand how scary it can be. It will get better with time and the right help.
Sending healing vibes your way 🙂
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Everything you have listed there, I have experienced as well (and still experience). However, I have never used drugs before, and haven't had a sip of anything alcoholic since 2010. I don't even like taking aspirin - maybe a source for anxiety for me, as I fear the effects of everything!
Most of the time, I forget things extremely easy. I feel like sometimes there are so many things in my mind at any given time, that my mind is juggling and struggling to focus on anything in particular. Sometimes I am determined to remember something (like the winning question/answer to this evenings millionaire episode), and then just magically forget all about it until I am reminded by my Mum later afterwards (makes you feel stupid, right?). Also, time is just flying by. I feel like I have no real grasp or realtime awareness of time... like, I find myself late at night wondering where the entire day went? (or week, or month, or year!?!). Why am I so tired, and how on earth has time gone by so fast. Before I know it, the day I just lived will never be lived again. It's gone!
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I would say, if I had to try and pinpoint how long i've been experiencing this awareness, or lack of awareness of time, and just time passing by so fast in general.... maybe ever since 2013... maybe back to around 2009 even, in my final years of High School. I'm 26 now, have never been employed, live with my Mum & Dad at home, and not on any government benefits (I have no idea how I would even get anything to assist me with the cost of living - can someone in my position even get anything to help? I don't even know. One day, when I have no Mum/Dad, I know I will probably lose everything and starve to death. I can see it now!).
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I don't follow anyone in particular, but do try and watch as many documentaries as I can, to find the good ones (on YouTube), and also try and learn as much as I can. I found a great 4-part british docu series back in July about the NHS at 70 (and their mental health facilities and the people in them, posted on YouTube by a UK News station - but they deleted it a couple of months ago. It was really good - would have loved to recommend it to you and share - but they removed it. Good thing I downloaded it! (keep it on an external hard drive along with other good documentaries). If there was some way to share here, I would definitely share. But I often check the most recent (within a month) YouTube posts related to mental health keywords, just so I get in before they disappear. An interesting documentary by PBS I watched recently called 'God Knows Where I Am' was an intriguing glimpse into one's life with mental health problems. Tragic story really, but worth the insight.
Good to hear that you found someone on there you could relate to, and even found a course. It does bother me however, that it costs money. I think that's cruel.... Well, that is what i'm assuming - is it actually costing you anything to be a part of this online course?
Nothing has really helped me much unfortunately. Iberograst, I hope, helps with some of my stomach discomforts (which are the worst parts relalted to being mentally/physically unwell, for me). But that's about it. I just have to endure, and endure, and endure until time lets it subside for a while. A few panic attack moments today, related to the heat I think - only saved by coincidence, and nothing by my own control (i.e. just letting nature do its thing - nothing i've ever had control over ever worked effectively, or enough to be considered successful).
Would love to know how you go with your search for solutions....
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G'day LadyS,
Thank you! I think others and myself would appreciate that very much. I hope it goes well for you! I bet it's scary - for me I know it would be - but once you get that ball rolling, I hope for you (me and everyone who finds this) that is just gets easier and better.
It certainly makes you feel like you are completely losing a grip on reality (especially when you've been experiencing it for years and years!) - not so much the 'control' entirely, as we can't control absolutely everything - but just that little bit of control we DO have (where we have the free will to make decisions and do things we decide to do to help ourselves, for example), losing that, as it feels, is totally mind blowing, frustrating and just crazy to experience (like you're trapped in a tornado at times, thrown out into the wilderness in some super storm, only to be picked up again by the same tornado funnel later on - a neverending storm it seems). But I guess it is just a descriptive word, rather than a definition, noun or label. We're not crazy! Our brains are just sending us (our conscious selves) on a crazy wild ride!
Look forward to your response!