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Dealing with Anxiety
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Hi everyone,
I’ve been living with Anxiety for years now. I haven’t officially been diagnosed but I know that I have it. I’ve noticed now that I have experienced Anxiety at its worst three seperate times in my life. Once when I was still in highschool, again during my first relationship in 2020, and now, three years later.
I know what works for me and how to overcome my anxiety, intrusive thoughts and stress, but what I am currently struggling with is struggling to understand that they are just thoughts and know that i will overcome it.
There are multiple factors to my current feelings of anxiety. I have experienced burn out after completing two internships in rapid succession, one which was overseas, both in which were undertaken during my studies at university. I only had a week’s rest during this period of returning home to Australia, and starting University again for the new semester.
I realised burnout was approaching, as I stopped feeling love and passion for my course, constantly doubted my abilities, and believed I wasn’t worth being in the course I am in today. This caused me to delay my course and take a 6 month break, but i still needed to finish off my first semester this year. During study this year, I started a new part time job which was 60 minutes away from my house. The only way for me to get to work was through public transportation, taking a bus and train. I worked four days a week 9-5, would have to wake up at 6am to arrive on time, and would return home at 6:30 pm. During this time, I also studied for two days a week, leaving my with only one day off a week. Doing this was extremely unsustainable to my mental health, and caused me to overload myself further i top of the burnout i had already developed.
I was coping at first, but one day at work I had an anxious thought, and no matter what i did i couldn’t get it out of my head since I hadn’t experienced bad anxiety since 2020. Ever since then, i have been unable to get on top of my anxiety, and it has gotten to the point where I can’t even focus anymore. My head feels constantly clouded and it’s affecting me, and my relationships. I ended up resigning from the job, I haven’t drunk in three weeks and now I have started going back to the gym and exercising.
I believe and know that i will get back on top of my anxiety again, but it’s so exhausting and stressful right now. i just want to think clearly again and get rid of my intrusive thoughts, but knowing that it will take a while to achieve this is making it harder for me too.
If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. I’m also sorry for rambling too. Thank you
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Hi pikachu22,
No need to apologise and you're not rambling at all. I think it is great that you recognise your burnout and have an understanding of your anxiety and how you're coping with it. Similar to you I suffer from anxious thoughts (they're usually silly things like whether I've said the right thing during an interaction) but I struggle to shake these thoughts even if I know they are irrational. They also get worse when I am stressed or run down. I'm currently working full time and studying part time so am probably at my limit at the moment as well but I trying to push myself as I only have a few months left of my diploma.
It is definitely difficult to juggle everything as a full time student. It is good that you have taken a break and that you have pulled back on work. Exercise is great but don't go overboard or get over committed. I've definitely pulled back on the gym and am only going 2-3 days a week max at the moment. Other things I find to help with anxiety is to debrief with my friends or manager as well as trying to keep a routine for my week. It doesn't have to be a strict timetable but knowing that I have set times for work, study, play, therapy is helpful. I also find it helpful going to the library to study as I am less distracted and more productive than when at home. Here are some other good anxiety management tools: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strate...
As you recognised it is a bit of a journey and a constant battle. But having the right tools can make life so much easier. And getting those tools doesn't have to be a long process either.
I hope my post is helpful and sorry if I have rambled also. Please keep us updated and feel free to contact the counsellors here at BB if you need to talk to someone over the phone or through web chat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor
Bob
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Hi Pikachu,
It can be tough - what has always helped me is to know it will not be forever.
The best advice I received was that when you have anxiety, it is your body telling you something…finding out what that is can be the hard part…it can also be the most rewarding.
I have listened to a lot of “your world within” podcasts also…this helped me a lot when at my worst and when it at times felt like nothing would help.
Keep up the exercise - cold showers/baths can be a good reboot also.
Never forget and never doubt that you are in control. Ignore the lizard-brain of doubt and believe, know and take action that you will get through this.
If you’re anything like me, the self-belief won’t happen overnight - nothing worthwhile ever does…but keep at it and you will succeed.
Everything you need to get through this, you already have…
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Hey there,
Thank you for replying and showing support. Last night I started journaling and writing down how I feel. I also made a music playlist that has made me feel a little better too. Today I went on a nice walk and felt great the whole way. However I had this one thought that made my anxiety bad in the past, that just spiralled out of control (as anxiety always does) and it ruined my night. I went on a call with my friends but my anxiety has prevented me from relaxing. It also gets bad whenever I get triggered and my anxiety continues.
Tomorrow I am getting a haircut and have a job interview so I am optimistic and happy for change in my life. I have been unemployed for three weeks now, and this week has been the worst this far. It’s getting to the point where I avoid gaming and doing stuff I enjoy, as well as limiting what I eat because I’m trying to get back into the gym.
I did see progress today at least, so I know it’s working. I just want it to work faster. But no matter what I am worried that my anxiety won’t change. I have considered going to therapy if my anxiety doesn’t get better in two weeks. Until then i’m going to keep trying remedies that have worked for me in the past, such as drinking tea, using lavender pillow spray, exercising, and thinking positively. Meditation has helped a lot too.
I will keep you all updated
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Thank you for your reply and your suggestions. I know that I am in control no matter what, and I will stick to that. Do you know a phrase that helps you when you are anxious at all that you can repeat and feel better afterwards?
Thank you again. I’ll keep you updated
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What I have said to myself is “I am in control!”.
And I have pushed myself to not care if/who sees, hears me say it…I have used it when trying to run out the pain when my brain is telling me to give in, to go sit in icy cold lakes in the northern US.
It sounds and feels weird to say it out loud (well, it did to me), but I needed to cast of the shackles of fear that got to the point of crippling; fear of consequence of things that will never happen…
I still battle with that every day…but I refuse to let fear control me. Consider the challenge of doing one thing a day that scares you…every time you do, you make yourself that little bit stronger…
Other favourites of mine:
1. You are always stronger than you think you are.
2. Almost everything you are afraid of will either never happen or is reversible.
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Don’t ever be shy to go see a doctor also…medication can help (my opinion is that it is a tool - it can help, but it won’t fix the underlying cause). That’s where the exercise, healthy diet, meditation all help - enjoy the journey of finding exactly what makes you happy, what helps during the challenges.
It may be a long journey - it doesn’t mean it will always be difficult…learning from your anxiety will give you a perspective and resilience that most will never have the potential to experience.
I have no regrets about experiencing anxiety; in my experience, if you face it with honesty - real, genuine honesty with yourself - you may find this experience frees you from something that held you back your whole life…
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Hi pikachu22,
Thanks for the update. Journalling is a great idea and I'm glad you are feeling better. I am glad you are taking positive steps such as exercise, talking to your friends and considering therapy. Please keep us updated. I hope your job interview went well also. Yes unfortunately we all wish recovery was a quicker journey but no matter at what point you are in the journey you should give yourself praise. A quote I really like is:
"she stood in the storm and the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails"
Bob