Dealing with anxiety

[Cashman]

Hi everyone

I have dealt with mild anxiety for a while now, its been manageable until a month or so ago.
My Wife and I recently moved states for work purposes and its been the best move we ever made, never been happier!
Earlier this year the job come to an end and i decided to take some deserved time off.
It didn't take long for the anxiety to creep back in and my self confidence is at an all time low. I get very anxious in social situations, to the point where i don't even want to leave the house and i always think the worst of all situations.
Its gotten to the point where its having major effect on our relationship.
My wife has been great support for me but i hate putting too much on her so i made the stupid decision of trying to deal with it in my own head. That outcome has gone as expected, she feels like i am pushing her away, I'm emotionally unavailable and not there for her (understandable)
My head goes straight to the worse case scenario, "You are a terrible husband, she doesn't deserve this, she needs to find someone better"
We have spoke about this and she reassures me that she will always be there to support me.
My rational thoughts knows that my wife loves me and she will always be there to help.
I then get the other side that says, "she won't put up with your crap, she is going to leave you and find someone to treat her better."
I get stuck on the irrational thought loop (to the point where i feel sick and can't sleep) and I'm scared if i can't stop thinking that way i will eventually push her away.

I find it very hard to make that first step of picking up the phone up to get help, i start sweating and get shortness of breath so i put it off to the next day and so on.

I badly want to get back to being the positive and confident person she first married, i owe that to her and myself.

[Doolhof]

Hi Cashman,

Welcome to the community here. You will find a lot of people here understand anxiety, or maybe don't understand it as the case may be, and like you want to know how to better handle it.

As you have trouble calling someone for help and advice, could you ask your wife to make the call for you, once she has someone on the line, you may be able to talk to them then.

Beyondblue also has a Chat Online service running from 3 p.m. to 12 a.m. that might be beneficial. It is like emailing back and forwards, receiving communication from a support worker.

Have you spoken to a Dr about how you are feeling? Do you think a counsellor would help you or a psychologist?

I borrow books from the local library on mental health issues that affect me. Some of them are very beneficial, especially those with easy to follow instructions on strategies that will help you.

I always find that if I tell my husband I am having a rough day, he generally understands and it stops him from thinking he has done something to upset me or that I am just being hard to get on with.

There is a lot of information on the Beyondblue site you may find beneficial, especially the section about how to support someone suffering from anxiety and anxiety in general.

Hope you feel welcome here, you don't have to answer any questions you don't want to and share what you are comfortable with.

There are many threads about anxiety here, so reading some of those may help you as well.

Cheers to you from Dools

[Cashman]

Thanks for your reply Dools,
i have managed to make an appointment with the doctor, I've been doing some research on different treatments. Ive been thinking about CBT but I've also heard that kinesiology can also help, haven't heard too much on this therapy, interested to hear any stories.