hi my name is richard iam 48yrs old I have been married for 27yrs with three adult children and one granddaughter who I adore.i have lived with anxiety for more than twenty years and panic attacks which still affects my daily life.
it started when I was in my twentys I thought I was having a heart attack at work I was taken to hospital and after a few hours they told me I have anxiety.after that day nothing was suggested to me to seek help or treatment.so as time went on my anxiety started to develop it was so bad that when I had an attack no matter where it was outside my home I would always flight instead of fight but I knew no better I had no knowledge of what was truly happening to me.it started to put a strain on my home life I would always ring my wife for reassurance when I was feeling anxious I did not understand or realize what pressure I was putting on her.as time went on the only thing I done to control my anxiety and panic attacks was to always stay in my comfort zone,and now I look back at that and realize how many things I have missed out on in life just so I could feel safe and comfortable.
as I got older nothing changed until my sister started to fall ill with cancer and i was always on edge and very anxious battling the negativity and what ifs and the constant over working of my brain constantly thought after thought eventually it wore me down and I had a bit of a break down my wife had had enough so I was told I need help which I did get in the way of medication which iam still taking and I spoke to a councillor for several visits.she was so understanding on my first visit we sat outside so I would be more comfortable(this was because at this stage I could not even go shopping without fear or sit in a drs room unless I could make a quick get away if I needed to sometimes I would walk out of the drs surgery before my name was called because of feeling so anxious)with the help of the tablets and the sessions I got better and I understood that iam not alone..
I returned to a normal life for me anyway and things did improve my confidence got better and I felt better within my self,i went through some tough stages with my life the death of my sister was very hard and still is but with the medication I got through it.
my anxiety has returned not that it ever left me so with the help I have had and get and talking about me for the first time I wish to get better and enjoy my life instead of the daily battle.
richard
