Constant self doubt about selfworth and work

[dreamcatchergirl]

I am currently looking for a job in the field in which I have spent the last 3 years studying. It's a creative field and I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I pursued it anyway. It's not impossible to get a job, a few people that graduated with me have found one ( mind you that's only about 2 or 3 people) 

I am constantly held back by my self doubts. I fee like I shouldn't have pursued a creative career, I really struggle with getting my ideas across and selling my point of view because I'm worried about what people will think of me and I'm convinced that all my ideas are bad!

In saying that though, deep down I believe I do have a true talent for this and that I can shine but I won't allow myself too. I have absolutely zero confidence in finding a job and envision myself sitting in an office like a mouse too scared to express myself and becoming a wallflower. Has anyone had similar experiences? Anyone over come these ever present feelings of self doubt?

I have anxiety and have probably dealt with it unknowingly my whole life but only put a name to it 3 years ago. I'm in a constant state of worry and have obsessive thoughts about bad things happening to me or the people around me. This adds to feelings of stress and makes the simplest of tasks feel over whelming. All year I have said that I will put my portfolio together and email it along with my CV to lots of firms. I still haven't done this. I feel unmotivated and hopeless about it all. People say to "fake it till you make it" but I can't fake self esteem. 

[white knight]

Hi DCG, welcome

For some, aging and what aging comes with- maturity is a factor not considered. Aging changes people, their reactions and what they react to. You really will alter a lot in the next 10 years of your life.

And with more of life's experience will come confidence. The fact is, if you find it really hard to get a job in your chosen field then you must change your focus to another profession at least in the short term.

But it will be your positive attitude that will determine your success in work and life. This positivity is found within you with the help of a few sparks. These sparks can come in the form of motivation lectures and so on.  A mentor is also a good idea. I joined the RAAF at 17yo and had I not had my corporal drill instructor yelling in my ear I would never have completed half of the running and battle runs I was assigned. Same at the gym now, my wife reckons without me urging her on when she is on the treadmill she wouldn't keep going.

Make a list of your daily chores and stick with it. Be active, positive and change you attitude.

And google "Prem Rawat maharaji the perfect instrument". He has many youtube videos. In fact youtube videos is a good way to motivate yourself in the mornings.

Forget your chosen field for now. That study isn't wasted. You can return to it.

Tony WK

[Nadselise]

It sounds like the worry comes from making a decision. It's hard when you have anxiety to make decisions on your future. 12 months ago I said I was going to get back into study, after 20 years I was rather nervous about getting into it again. I have just started and passed my first course and that has given me confidence.

The other advice is if you find it better to write things down then do it. I have only realised that as a introvert I don't do all that well when asked questions on the spot.

I spent 12 months unemployed at one stage of my life. When I got a job it felt wonderful. If this is what you want to do then start trying. Otherwise the fear will control you. I have a saying "I grow by doing what's hard to do." The hard things are often most important to us.

[joeljoel]

This is something that I too have struggled with. I graduate uni in a year and I'm consumed with fear about what is going to happen in my future BUT I know that I will have at least something to offer to my particular industry (film) and I'm sure you do too. To the point of feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated, my anxiety makes me extremely unproductive. As a result I waste more time and energy worrying about something than I do actually doing them. What helps though is setting achievable goals or sometimes you just have to do it no matter how hard it is. 

 I have struggled with self-doubt but what I have found is helpful is getting feedback from others. I'm the type of person, which I assume you are too, who is really critical of self. What helps, particularly in a creative field, is getting others to look at your work. What you might find is that you are often your own worst critic. You will get a significant boost in confidence if you are sincerely complemented on your work and once you have that confidence there is no telling what you can achieve!

Don't let the thing that holds you back the most in life be yourself. Best of luck!!