Close to giving up

[Jamielee88]

I feel like giving up most days I do not no what to do anymore I've got pass anxiety I'm bipolar too. I've pinched a c4 and c5 nerve that affects my nerve roots and left side of my body. I'm in so much Emotional and physical pain. I have a son who I can barely pick up and do things like go to the park. And activities that he likes to do because I can barely bend my neck with out pain. My husband says I'll be ok....

It feels like I'm dying and no one understands. I just wanna feel normal and to play with my boy. It breaks my heart even more that I can not do so. I don't have any friends as I have severe social anxiety. I'm so broken

[Sophie_M]

Hi Jamielee88,
 
Welcome back to the forums. We acknowledge how much strength it takes to reach out for support here and we are sorry to hear about how much pain you’ve been enduring. It sounds like your husband is hopeful that your situation will improve however at the same time it seems as if he may not fully grasp what you’re currently experiencing, does that sound right? If so this must be very frustrating for you. Please know you are not alone with your thoughts and feelings during this challenging time.

We would like to continue to understand what you’re going through so when you feel up to it, feel free to check back in. So our community can best support you, it can be helpful to know what supports you currently have in place to support your wellbeing.
 
If you would like to get in touch with a professional mental health counsellor to work through potential support options while you wait to hear from other members of our community, our Support Service is available by phone (1300 22 4636) or by email (responses within 24 hours) and Webchat (3pm-12am AEST) through our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport . Our Support Service can help 24 hours a day, seven days a week with counselling support, information and referrals. We hope this information is helpful.
 
We look forward to seeing you around the forums, and again, our community is here to listen.
 

[Tay100]

Hi Jamielee88

I'm sorry to hear that you are in a tough space emotionally and physically right now. It can be overwhelming- but you are aren't alone and as Sophie_M suggested, there is professional help available. You say you want to be there for your bit and do the more active things that he enjoys-I encourage you to let your husband help out there. You can still bond meaningfully with your little guy by doing other things that are just as meaningful to the both of you, that won't put you in pain.

Self-preserving and self-caring like this can make you a better mum. It makes you and your husband good role models as you work together. Please give yourself some credit, know you are trying your best considering everything and be gentle on yourself. If this is harder to do because of your bipolar etc, this is where those extra resources may come in handy!

Hope this provides a bit of clarity for you!

Tay100

[Jamielee88]

I am on my way to mental health ward I can not handle the physical and mental pain any longer

[Sophie_M]

Jamielee88 It sounds like that you've done what you have needed to keep yourself safe and to get the care you need and it takes a lot of strength to do so; I'm glad you were able to go forawrd with that. Please keep us updated on the situation.