Boyfriend with porn addiction

[confusion]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now and about a year ago I found porn on his phone I had never discussed porn with him or how I felt about it. After finding it I confronted him and I was very upset and disheartened. He told me he’d stop but months later I found more through reddit and YouTube. I gave him multiple times to try and tell me but he kept denying and lying to me. After I told him what I saw he apologises and we talked about boundaries again. He started downloading wellness apps to help with his addiction. However this has happened and he has lied to me 3/4 times since about stopping and then me finding it. I have lost so much trust and it has ruined my self esteem and am always anxious about what he might be doing. He has not watched porn for about 5 months as I’ve been told but he has told me he searches up porn stars/bikini models on Instagram but “does nothing with it”. I feel defeated and not sure what to do. I feel guilty in getting so upset about this and constantly questioning myself despite him trying his best and telling me

[Sophie_M]

Hi confusion,  We’re sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way and going through such a difficult time with your partner. We’re glad you could share this here, as our lovely community will have kindness, advice and understanding for you.  It sounds like you could do with talking things through, so please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here.   It must be really difficult not feeling like you can't trust your partner, and we can understand how confusing all of these events must’ve been for you, it’s important to remember that you are deserving of respect. If you’re ever at all concerned about how your partner’s behaviour is affecting you, you should reach out to 1800 Respect on 1800 737 732. They’re kind, understanding and non-judgmental, and can talk things through with you any time, either on the phone or in their online chat.   It is wonderful that you have been able to reach out for support here on the forums, but you never know who might read it and feel less alone in their own experience.   Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[geoff]

Hello Confusion, there are many other ways he can still have access to these sites and in a relationship the trust between you has vanished, because he may seem to be doing what you are disappointed in, but if he hasn't told you the whole thruth then problems may occur later on, especially if you have a disagreement about anything.

You can never be sure he is doing his best, because pretending doesn't mean this.

Geoff.

Life Member.