Being swallowed up

[Girlbond_007]

Hi everyone,

Have been feeling quite wound up this week, not sure if this is because of Christmas or not. I have had major mood swings and had a huge argument with a family member today. I then went into the first anxiety attack I have had since starting new medication. Now I just feel empty and guilty for having my part of the argument. 

My worst fear always comes to the front of my mind and that is putting my daughter into kindy in 2017. I know that is ages away but I feel like I go into fight flight to prepare myself for the worst. Mainly how I will feel on this day. I just now feel really sad and emotional and I am not sure if this is depression talking. I don't want to me feeling like this tomorrow. 

 thanks for listening 

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Girlbond,

How long have you been on your medication?

This time of year is obviously more stressful and I wouldn't be surprised if it was adding some anxiety.

if you're feeling guilty the argument, do you feel comfortable talking to your relative about it? Sometimes I snap at people and where possible I go back when I'm feeling calmer and talk to them about my reaction.

if you're feeling tense, maybe take some time aside, try and do something that relaxes you. Have you tried those colouring books?

Even when you're on medication there might be things that trigger anxiety, such as your daughter going to kindy. It doesn't matter that is some time in the future, you don't really choose what you pre anxious about. 

Do you see anyone professionally like a counsellor or a psychologist? I've found them really helpful ingivingtoolsto manage anxiety.

[Girlbond_007]

Hi Chicken Wings,

Have been on anti depressants for 6 years roughly but have just had my gp add another to the mix about a month ago to try and stop my brain from circling on the same thoughts all the time. It has somewhat helped. I think the dose may need to be adjusted.

yes I have been seeing a psychologist  recently and not due back until Jan but at present we are just in the beginning stages as we've only had two sessions. I feel this has been helping.

i just want to stop the thought of everything is going to go wrong on her first day of kindy, also I think I have some separation anxiety which I need to address but I feel almost like I will have empty nest syndrome and don't want to be alone with my thoughts for the time I will be on my own. I currently work from home and am considering going back to the office to keep occupied when she does go.

i have had a go at the colouring books, thanks for reminding me about them. I probably just feel pressure right now as we are hosting lunch tomorrow. 

I have had a conversation with the relative and I feel much better now. I have also had a cry to just release, I thinkI that has also helped. I just want to try and keep it together.

thanks for replying 

[Chicken_Wings]

Sometimes having a cry is the best!

the psychologist will definitely help with he circular thoughts, it's great that you've started with that. Being with other people would surely be good too. It can't be easy being home alone all day without distractions.

Are you using a mental health plan? It means your psychology sessions are subsidised via mediacare.

hosting Christmas lunch would definitely be a justified reason to feel extra pressure. Make sure you take some time for you.

[Girlbond_007]

Yes I've been put on a mental health plan which helps, not all unfortunately is sibsidised but better than nothing hey?

i have become very isolated since having my daughter, but fortunate to be able to work from home for my employer. Some days are great, some days she drives me mad whilst I'm trying to work but it has been worth it not to have her in daycare. 

I know she has to grow up and go into the wide world and I feel selfish for feeling like this but I know that day will come. Trying my best to deal with it.

merry Christmas 🙂

[Mummybee]

Hi girlbond

i know this is not the same, but I thought if I shared my thoughts it might help a little.

my son started kinder this year, he is my eldest of two, so I still have my 2.5yo daughter with me, but, I was really anxious about it. About every party of it, how he would be, how I would be, how people would perceive him (he is very full on). I knew all the logical answers in my head as I am a teacher myself, but my anxious head was crazy.

the first few weeks were hard, but I found a new routine for us and he loved kinder so it was all for the best. A few times through the year I have remembered my anxiety about him starting school and wished I hadn't been so consumed with it. I guess that's the beauty of hindsight with our black beast.

2017 is a while away, enjoy him while you still have him to yourself, don't waste the days worrying.

mummybee 

[Girlbond_007]

Thanks mummybee,

The logical side of my Brain knows all will be ok and she will love kindy. She is my first and probably last so I know I need to enjoy the rest of her time at home.

but my anxiety about being alone and her going off into the world is just consuming me at times. I didn't have the best primary school years although I remember kindy and preschool as being so much fun. I feel so selfish for feeling like this. I hate changes in my life because it's the fear of the unknown that really gets my anxiety going.

thank you for the insight it's much appreciated