Anyone dealing with ergophobia?

[MyProfile]

Hi,

I have ergophobia. I'm scared of the work environment. It stems from social anxiety, I guess a bit of performance anxiety too.

I really want hope to overcome this. I've struggled to work and study since I was a teenager (31 years old now).

My husband is not coping with life, and I want to be able to work to contribute not necessarily financially, but just as a member of our team, if that makes sense? I don't expect to earn much as I have little skill, so whatever I contribute would be more a show that I'm willing to try to do the hard stuff for our relationship, for him.

I've been scouring job sites, but every job needs experience and references. My experience is very varied, but it doesn't look good on my resume to see me jumping from job to job, with huge gaps in between when I've had mental breakdowns. Any ideas on how to navigate that?

Honestly, as soon as I think I will apply for a job, I completely freak out, I get the whole flight or fight response. I'm panicking just thinking about it now!

I get therapy and have done in the past, but nothing has helped. I haven't worked for 9 months. I feel like such a loser and I am so ashamed. I feel guilty for being such a burden.

It would be nice to hear from others who actually understand this, or who experience it themselves.

[Nikkir]

Hi MyProfile,

Thank you for your sharing your post with us:) I can totally relate to what you are saying and its great that you are trying to contribute and have the intention and desire to help you partner. I think it is common to experience some anxiety in the workplace and some workplaces are better or worse than others. As far as the immediate future, you could look at part time jobs or casual jobs if possible so that you can build your way up slowly and adjust. I would also suggest finding a job that is not so high pressure and where you can work by yourself to some degree, even night packing in a supermarket or something where you don't have to interact to much or even some work opportunities you can do from home on the phone or internet. I really do understand the stress and anxiety. Long term you could try to work through this with a therapist, one that you can connect with. There are so many different therapies out there now that can help and support you. I also think you need to be kind to yourself and recognise the good things you have achieved and do achieve daily and focus on that instead of making yourself feel bad, I know we are generally wired up that way but believe it or not you are not alone and many people have issues and struggles similar to yours and we are all on a personal journey. You can call us on 1300 22 4636 or chat again and wishing you all the best. I am in a similar situation, you are not alone x NIKKIR

[losingit04]

Unforunately I don't have any specific help for you but I may be experiencing something similar

I just started a new job (my first actual job) and while I'm at work, I'm okay but as soon as I get home I freak out about the lack of free time.

My psychologist has recommended mindfulness techniques, have you tried some of these? I've been trying and I guess it seems really ridiculous at first but perhaps will improve in time.

I really hope that you find some respite from this terrible, terrible condition. My thoughts are with you and I really wish you all the best.

[MyProfile]

Hi Nikkir, thanks for taking the time to write.

I am looking at casual and part time jobs regularly,definitely won't go for full time. My last job was 3 days a week, but I was working with kids with special needs, so I guess I couldn't cope.

I accept that all jobs cause stress, I know it's called work for a reason 😉 I'm way beyond the normal stress, but I'm sure you can tell. I have to find a balance of working but not being a shaking crying mess, because that outweighs any reasons for sticking at it. Basically, the money I earn isn't worth the stress I would place my husband under dealing with me.

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I do need to be kinder to myself. I guess I am blaming myself for everything that has been going wrong lately, as if my not working is the sole reason for my husband to be down or stressed and our relationship to be strained, but financially my not working has little impact, so how much can that one thing really be influencing everything else?? 😐

I'll keep at it with my psych, she's the best so far. Sometimes it feels like I have too many problems to fix though.

Your words have been helpful, thanks again.

MP

[MyProfile]

Hi losingit04.

Congrats on starting the new job. Is it full time?

I totally understand you freaking out about time, I absolutely do that too. Even now when I am not working, and looking for part time work, I think, how will I find time and energy for anything else, even if I only work 3 days a week?! This to me isn't my ergophobia, it's probably another anxiety, I see ergophobia as more of performance and social anxiety. But still I'm glad you brought it up and I feel better just knowing that someone else is the same in that regard.

I manage my time too well. I get A LOT done, I keep lists and lists upon lists, I even schedule my relaxation time, which isn't very conducive to relaxation. I'm learning to let go of my need to get everything done, kind of force myself to just chill out a bit.

I have tried mindfulness. My husband recommend I try it while doing dishes, as a place to practice. Usually I furiously do the dishes because there is something else to do etc. But now I just wash, and try not to think about anything but the dishes. It's a much quieter dishwashing session like that 🙂

So, I think mindfulness is helpful, in the moment that you're trying to be calmer. Thanks for mentioning it, I'll try to practice it more.

Can I ask how you use the mindfulness for your anxiety? Because being mindful doesn't give you more free time, so I'm curious how you apply it, I hope my question makes sense. It can help to understand how other people use techniques and I really think I could benefit from trying to understand how your psych is getting you to practice it. I really hope you can feel better about this, to enjoy your down time without stressing about it.

Thanks for taking the time to write and I appreciate your good wishes. I wish you well also.

MP

[Wonder__woman]

Hi MyProfile

Im a 45 year old single mum of 2 boys.

Only 10 minutes ago ...after another WHOLE day of anxiety.and worry and hating myself for being like I am....i actually Googled " extreme phobia of work " ..and to my surprise not only in realizing there is such a fear but that all the symptoms describe me as far as what I greatly fear about work.

I have been this way since I left school age 14 .

I have had jobs with horrid experiences and I had only one job in my life I was ok with which was a cleaner in an aged care home...that was in 95.

I have had other jobs before being a mum.

Anyway... i have extreme anxiety about work...yes I'm Argnophobic as i just discovered....

The thought just makes me so sick.. its the fear of failing my employer..not being confident in what expectations are ..I honestly feel I'll fail... I wont know what to do or how to do it.. that im not good enough..smart enough..confident enough.

Interviews horrify me...

I get so anxious leading up to one that it preoccupies my mind relentlessly..i cant focus on anything else not even my boys..im aggitated...I pace...I cry...i dont sleep..i feel suicidal... i bite my tongue or scratch myself to mask the nervous feelings inside.. i get the runs... then sweaty palms the fastest loudest heart pounding ..i want to faint and then I email the job network center who organized the interview to tell them of the state im in and that i can't do the job.

Then im instantly relieved and happy and sound...until next time.

I dont know where this stems from but its so real..debilitating and incredibly disabling.

I haven't seen a psychologist for it but admitted part of it to my Dr plus my depression and im on medication but I feel im getting worse.

I only feel like i can only be a cleaner...Im so hopeless.

I absolutely hate this about me and the guilt i carry is killing me inside i cry all the time about it. I want to work... i wish I could get work in aged care as a cleaner again but the jobs just aren't available.

To make matters worse is my depression and i have RA rheumatoid arthritis ..so it makes my ability to work harder... im extremely forgetful and under pressure have mental blanks.

Im so fed up.. im really really struggling too.

[KateER]

Hello,

I can relate to this a lot, however this has only just started a few months ago when I was having issues at my current place of work.

It's been 14 weeks of non payment of wages, and after 8 weeks of not being paid, I told my employer that I was no longer physically coming into the office until I was paid. Fast forward until now, still no money, I've had to move out of my beautiful house with my now ex-partner who worked for the same company and was in the same boat and have been living at my parents place not doing much at all. It's been weeks since I've physically worked and now this is starting to worry me.

I've had constant panic attacks over money and my unfortunate failed relationship, and I've been offered a job starting Monday at the airport. I don't know why, but I am so anxious to start working properly again. This is coming from someone who has worked relentlessly since age 14 (now 24). I'm worried that I won't be able to escape if I have a panic attack or I'll throw up on the job (I'm emetophobic).

Today has been the first day of moving forward to stop these feelings of anxiety. I've made a booking with NewAccess to speak to a counsellor (6 free sessions), I'm going to see my doctor about further referrals and I'm really committed to making a change.

I know you can do this. I sometimes like to think that I'm stronger than some people who have never experienced this kind of thing. We have been putting up with these intense feelings for ages and I like to think it only gives us a thicker skin. It's hard, but it's doable. Make contact with NewAccess (can be found via Beyondblue) or your doctor to get cognitive behavioural therapy and start your journey to becoming anxiety free. You've got this!

[Victory_Chick]

Hi everyone. I really haven’t posted before, so I’m kinda new at this. For me, my dance with ergophobia started back in February when I was bullied by someone at work. I tried to get through it, but struggled until July 13 when it became impossible for me to work anymore. I’m due to return to work February 17 but am terrified to do so. On the other hand, my husband who has been amazingly supportive through out this whole ordeal won’t understand why I need yet more time off work. It’s not that I DONT WANT to work, it’s that I CANT return to work.

Thanks for your stories. It really helps knowing that I’m not alone.