Hello Anxious
Yes, I can understand wanting a doctor who you can relate to. It may be a good idea to ask around and see if one name pops up more than once. It is so much more comfortable to have a running conversation, so to speak, with one person and know that person 'gets' you. You may need to see a few GPs to find someone you are happy with. Similarly with ADs. I know it's a hassle trying out meds. I did it for 18 months and still ended up with an AD that had bad side effects for me. In the end the psych prescribed another AD to stop the side effects of the first one. Crazy.
Coping day by day is the way we get back our health. Sorry about that. There is no therapy that can transform you overnight. The person who discovers such a treatment will be an immediate millionaire. When I was first bowled over with depression I expected my doctor could give me a pill and all would be well. It was such a horrible place to be. Sadly it takes time to heal and a great deal of effort. Even then, judging by my progress, we slip back now and then.
The only good thing about slipping back is that we realise we have made progress and can get there again. You said, i am very good at talking myself out of doing things that are beneficial for me by taking the easy way out and just going to bed.. Yes I've been there too. For me it seems that everything gets too complicated and hard and I have lost my belief that I can get better. At first it was devastating but gradually I learned to be more gentle with myself.
And that included taking ADs. I wish the psych had less faith in the most recent meds, as they were then, and tried with the older pills. I would not have fought with him so much if I felt I was getting some benefit. As it was I think I struggled through the worst of it without much help, from meds or the psych.
I understand you are feeling tired and anxious about almost everything. Looking for a new GP is a task you could do without. So may I suggest you decide to either find a new GP or go back to the first GP but be more assertive about your ADs. Explain how they make you feel and ask for something very different. There are hundreds of ADs available so surely there must be one that suits you.
You need a GP who is more proactive as you say, but working with the one you go to now may be easier in the short term and when you feel better you can look around for someone you feel more comfortable with. I hope this all makes sense to you.
Mary
