Anxious thoughts

[Sadie243]

Hi all,

I have lived with anxiety and OCD for 10.years now. I usually manage it quite well each day. As of late I've has relationship anxiety. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years now and we have a pretty strong connection and foundation. Lately I've noticed i get anxious about mixing friend groups. I'm the type of person who gets along with everyone so it doesn't bother me. But I'm constantly worrying about keeping my partner happy when he attends events that my friends have invited us to. My best friends boyfriend has a 30th coming up and we are both invited. His friends are a little different and I.guess considered weird. I'm anxious that the impression that his friends present will.reflect on me and my boyfriend will suddenly decide that my friends are weird and dump me. I know it sounds irrational but it genuinely worries me

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Sadie,

It seems you have a very accepting personality - good on you for this!

As for your boyfriend, I am sure he recognises this quality within you also, and the behaviour and antics of friends of friends' acquaintances should not sully your affections.

However, it might be a good idea to give boyfriend a heads up (maybe some examples of the 'weirdness') to help prepare him for any surprises. That way you can cast a glance with each other to acknowledge the accuracy of your observations and then have a little chuckle about it afterwards.

[wail]

wow i used to have same anxiety, now have new friend, we have sex before party as this stops all anxious thoughts

[Shiggsy]

Hey Sadie! Your post stuck out to me. I myself have struggled with relationship anxiety and rOCD for a couple of years now. You don’t have to feel bad about the fears being “irrational”. Irrational fears are acharacteristic of Anxiety disorders and OCD. If you haven’t already, seeking professional help is a fundamental first step. You should also have a small discussion with your partner about your fears and anxiety if they aren’t already aware. It’s important to remember that your partner is with you for you and not your friends. Anxiety tends to target that which is important to you, and you seem to value your relationship. Remember that fears and thoughts have no power or relevance beyond your mind and have no control over reality. It’s also important to expose yourself to the fear - your boyfriend no longer wanting to be with you. You must assure yourself that regardless of whether or not your relationship works or doesn’t, you will turn out perfectly okay.