Anxious about work.

[yesyesyesa]

Hi,

About two weeks ago I started my first job. I have been trained in these weeks and I was beginning to get comfortable. However after finished my last training shift everything has returned to its down hill state.

I was so anxious about my first independent shift and it did not go well. I forgot things and messed up so many times. I wanted to cry but I somehow kept it in. I had no clue what I was doing. All the managers and crew were also stressed which did not help. Maybe two of them knew I was new, which was not helpful. Everyone was really expectant and thinking about it makes me want to break down.

I do not want to go back.

The late shifts are a pain and I prefer the "omg i need a job" anxiety more than the "omg i dont know what im doing at work" anxiety. It doesnt help that one of my other friends have started working there and they are like "omg its so easy and fun", they are still being trained but I know they will hand things better than I do.

Im really do not want to go back. Im unsure of how to get myself into thinking positively about the job.

[jess334]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forums. Thanks for posting.

I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I know that after a big anxious moment I usually want to avoid whatever it was that made me anxious. The 'omg I need a job' anxiety is easier because you experience it in your safe space of your home.

It's completely normal to have shifts or days where it feels like everything went wrong and to blame yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Us anxious people usually make them seem worse then they are and imagine that everyone thinks we are a failure. But generally that isn't true.

If your boss thought you had done really badly you probably wouldn't have been offered any more shifts, or they would have done some extra training.

The more often you do the late shift the less anxious you will become about it. The next shift will be really hard because you will be worrying about making mistakes. But it really does start to feel easier.

Please keep posting if you need to.

Kind thoughts, Jess

[Peppermintbach]

Hi yesyesyesa,

Firstly, I want to say congratulations on landing your first job 🙂 I get that you’re feeling very stressed and overwhelmed, and things are less than ideal there, but getting your first job is still a huge achievement.

I think first independent shifts can be very nerve racking, as you would well know. If it reassures you a little, I think feeling uncertain, confused and making a few accidental mistakes is actually quite common when we first start a new job. I wonder if maybe you’re being a little hard on yourself...just a gentle idea that I’m putting forward...

I suppose it’s hard not to compare when your friend seems to be settling easily into the new job. But, as you said, your friend is still undergoing training and may change his/her/other tune once independent shifts start...plus everyone is different. Some people settle into new roles faster, and others just need a little more time...

I get what you’re saying about not wanting to go back as I know you’re feeling very stressed about it all, But, just as a gentle suggestion, do you think maybe you might like to give it a few more weeks before making a decision?

Sorry, I hope that doesn’t upset you...I’m merely suggesting it because sometimes things get easier after you get more experience on the job...

If you feel up to it, but no pressure, it would be lovely to hear from you again to hear how you’ve been since your first post 🙂

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[baet123]

Hey YesYesYesa,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for posting. It takes a great deal of bravery and courage to post on these forums and to share your situation with us and this is something you should be proud of. I can tell your extremely strong, brave, resilient and intelligent and these are great traits you possess!

Jess has mentioned some great points above and I will just add a few other points.

Congratulations on your first job. Well done! I am encouraged that it seems as if they have taken their time with your orientation period and that they have eased your transition into your new job.

I wouldn't stress too much and don't be too hard on yourself. Independant shifts will be a challenge at first but after a while it will get better. Familiarity increases comfort and that will make a huge difference in the way you see yourself at work.

You mention you don't want to go back. When we are under a great deal of stress, we tend to over complicate things and our rationale and logic may be skewed. I know that it is extremely overwhelming at present and it may feel like it is all a bit "too much" but most of us have felt the way your feeling at some point in time particularly when starting our first job.

Don't ever be afraid to ask for assistance or clarity on the job also. Employers and fellow staff members are and should be happy to answer your genuine and valid questions and this is something I encourage you too do.

I think the more exposure you receive and the more shifts you take, the better you will feel. I would consider re-evaluating your situation in a few weeks and if you still feel this way, you can re-evaluate then.

I can tell you will be a great asset to whatever company/industry you work in and it will get better and easier.

Hope this help and look forward to hearing back from you.

Nick.