anxious about school camp?

[minaisabelle]

i don’t know why i’m feeling this way, but all i can think about recently is my school camp. it’s still months away but for the past few weeks it’s all that’s been on my mind and i’m so worried. i’m 15 and i’ve been on school camps before with little to no issues, but recently i fell down a deep hole of mental health struggles and i know it may be stupid but my cat really helped me with getting over these struggles- or at least toning them down a bit.

i got my cat three months ago and i’ve already relied so heavily on him to calm down and remind myself that i have at least one reason to try, one reason to stay alive. i’m worried about leaving him for three days. i don’t know how i’m going to react when he’s not there to help me. recently i’ve become so stressed in social situations, even teachers have noticed and tried to send me to the school councillor. what if i feel too overwhelmed on camp and my cats not there to help me feel calmer during my anxious breakdowns? i already don’t sleep when i’m on school camps because i feel too nervous around everyone, and now i’m also going to have to try to sleep without him curling up next to me. it will be too strange.

in my house, i’m the one that takes care of my cat too. what if my he gets sick when i’m gone? or what if he runs away and i never see him again? he’s an indoor cat and is only allowed out for around an hour a day when i’m outside with him. my siblings don’t see why i’m so clingy, what if they let him outside and he runs off? between the fear that i’ll be too overwhelmed at camp and the fear that i’ll leave for camp and never see him again, i can’t think of anything else.

i would just like to clarify that i haven’t been to a doctor and had any mental illnesses diagnosed. my parents and teachers have recommended therapy/school councillors, but i’ve never gone to them. i feel too dumb expressing how i feel, because i hear myself and realise how insignificant my problems are. i hate feeling this way, but i also can’t bring myself to speak up anywhere that’s not online. i’m actually doing significantly better than i was a few months ago, but i know that the smallest things can send me down a spiral of feeling nothing and loneliness for weeks or months at a time. i’m worried that school camp will be the thing that sends me down that spiral, and i really don’t want to feel that way again.

i need to go to the camp, but i don’t know how to get over my concerns.

[PamelaR]

Hi Minaisabelle and very warm welcome to our forums

Things sound so difficult for you at the moment. I'm so pleased you've found your way here and shared your story. Being able to express through talking can be hard sometimes. I understand how you feel. You're not alone there. There are many who experience this. My hubby and I are just a few.

There is a lot in your post. You sound very mature and knowledgeable for your age. Those are great things to have on your side when anxiety kicks in. Okay, let's see -

You don't know why you're feeling this way, but you think it's because you -

• have a school camp coming up
• no one will look after your cat while you're away
• you don't know what to do if you don't have your cat with you.

Going to camp. Have you every had a look at apps that are available to help settle you when you get anxious? There are many of them available out there these days. If you're allowed to take mobile devices with you on your camp maybe have a few of these apps ready. I think it isn't easy for you to talk to anyone, but before you go, maybe try to talk with at least one of the teachers or parents who will be on camp. Tell them about how anxious you get.

Cat. Aren't they just the best? Cats have always been in my life. My childhood cat was my saviour too. He helped me all the time - gave me comfort when I needed it, kept me company. Are you able to set up a reward system with your siblings to make sure your cat is cared for? E.g. do their housework for a week, buy them a treat if you have the money, or make them something they like?

Something to think about - I know everyone was tried to get you to see someone, but maybe try some of the online support services that are available, e.g.

• www.kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling (phone 1800 551 800)
• www.headspace.org.au/eheadspace/

It would be good if you could reach out to one of these organisations before you go. Maybe tell them about your upcoming camp and set up some support when you're there. Again that's dependent on whether the camp allows mobile devices.

Minaisabelle, it is hard living with anxiety. Especially when people all get 'too much'. Anxiety unfortunately doesn't go away, but we do get better at managing it. I've lived with it for over 54 yrs. My life has been good - a wonderful husband, great career and enjoying retirement.

Anxiety doesn't have to define who we are. Learning how to live with it is good.

Keep reaching out if and when you want to.

PamelaR

[smallwolf]

Hi minaisabelle,

No mental health problems are stupid. You might have an issue with being away from your cat, and mine issue started with emails. Users in the anxiety and depression have their own triggers. None are insignificant if they affect how you feel.

So, a little about me... father of 2 teens who are slightly older than you and a pet cat. Our cat is also an indoor cat. Probably the difference between your family and mine is that you look after your cat, and I look after ours. Now we do our best to ensure our cat does not get outside. And I will have to admit that he has gone outside once, but about 15 minutes later was back at the door wanting to come back inside. But one thing that I can be certain of is that your parents would do their utmost to make sure nothing happens to your cat. I am also familiar with the bond that pet and pet owner have with each other. So you feeling nervous about your cat is natural.

In speaking with a GP, or school counsellor, or getting therapy, there is nothing for you to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. OK?

But if you feel the need to do it yourself, please also look at apps like smiling minds or headspace that include tools to help you deal with the things start to get overwhelming.

There are support numbers that you also use, but you mentioned that you can’t bring myself to speak up". How you do feel about use online chat service such as those provided by beyond blue or eheadspace?

I hope you come back and talk some more. You are brave to posting here, and I am hopeful you will be able to make it through this troubling time.

Peace,

Tim

[Croix]

Dear Minaisabelle~
Welcome. I read your other post and am pleased you are here because you are discounting your troubles as minor, or pretty usual, or not important. THEY ARE NOT!

You did say
remind myself that i have at least one reason to try, one reason to stay alive

Those are not the words of someone in a good place, they point out how really bad things are. Having self-harmed-confirms this

ATM you have a school atmosphere that you have not said is friendly. Because you are gay there is a sort of wall between you and others - and maybe even your dad. Add to that the camp and the lack of one of your main supports and things are horrible

First I'm really glad you do have your cat, and don't blame you in the least for worrying about what happens when away. Just looking around the Forum here you will see how many depend upon their pets, from little birds that hop in the shower and dogs or horses that get hugs and respond

Second I’m glad your mum is perceptive and picked up you were gay. Do you get on well with her? As for your dad, sometimes parents are plain dumb, maybe between you and your mum he can get back where he was with you again

Self-harm is a means of trying to cope with things that are real hassles. I'm sure you would know that. It is also both dangerous partly because one can do more damage than one intends, but also it too can lead in a downward spiral towards thinking of death. It is temporary and leaves the person in a worse place, where shame and failure can easily come in

Don’t worry about having an intimate partner, it will happen. Those of your friends and others that have reacted because you did not tell them are being selfish, thinking of themselves rather than you

So I’m sure you know what I’m going to say, you need outside help with the anxieties you feel in life, school and about the social problems abut coming out. It can all sort out, and the quicker you get help the quicker things will get better

To get help please either agree to see a GP or councilor as your mum and teachers have suggested, or if you prefer ring the Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800). Talking on the phone - or you can use their web-chat on their website, is an excellent start. It can be a real comfort to hear understanding from a professional. You can talk to the same person more than once

I suspect, like I had, one of the reasons you have not gone before is simply fear, not just that your troubles are too small. Please go anyway
Croix