Hi Lisblue,
Your anxiety sounds like it has been particularly intense lately. I feel your exhaustion as I know anxiety can take a lot out of a person, both emotionally and physically. It sounds like you’re going through a lot...
Your ex clearly exacerbated your anxiety. Made it many times worse because of his abuse.
I think, paradoxically, sometimes feelings peak after a person leaves a toxic situation or relationship. For example, your anxiety worsening after your ex left.
I suspect it’s maybe because (sometimes) when a person is in the middle of it, their body has to dial down some of their emotions for (self) protection/survival. But after they’ve had some distance/they’re out of the thick of it, their body finally allows them to feel the full force of emotions, including anxiety. I’m not sure if my loose thoughts are relevant to you though, but I wanted to share anyway...
I’m glad you took some time off work to rest and engage in some self care. Good on you for doing that...
Sorry, I don’t really know your background so I apologise in advance if I’m making suggestions that you have already tried. I wonder if you’ve ever spoken to a health professional about your anxiety e.g. GP, psychologist, etc?
If you haven’t already, I would suggest seeing your GP is a good starting point. You can ask for an extended appointment and the possibility of a mental health care plan. The care plan will help the GP to help you and track your mental health progress, plus it also entitles you to a certain number of Medicare rebatable visits to a psychologist. If you haven’t already, perhaps this is an option to consider...
Can I please ask how have things been since your opening post? There’s no rush or pressure to answer, but if you’re feeling up to it, it would be lovely to hear how you’re doing.
Kind and caring thoughts,
Pepper
