Dear Kennedy_92~
You are having a pretty hard time, and from the sounds of it this is not a recent thing. Being forced out of 4 jobs due to anxiety is pretty terrible and makes one wonder if one can ever be successful. I'd be fairly certain things can improve a lot for you. I was a complete mess with PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression and am now in a pretty good place.
I'm sure you know where this is heading, as you said in your post you really do need to get medical support just as I did. Are there any particular reasons you are not getting that help now? There are lots of explanations of course, one being by going to the doctor you are admitting you have something wrong and can't deal with it on your own. Another is worry over medications, or what your life wold be like under treatment. The answer is of course to just go, it is no big deal to have an (extended) consultation.
The other problem, well that I have found anyway, is to give a clear concise description of what is happening. Face-to-face is a lot of pressure and it is easy to forget things or even chicken out:) Writing it all down first and then sharing the paper helps here and is something that my doctors have appreciated, it makes their life easier too.
I'm sorry your relationship has hit a low. In fairness my partner has found me hard to deal with when I've been depressed or in the grip of anxiety. The only thing I can say is that in any relationship both parties should really want to look after the other. Pretending or actually contacting other potential mates is not a kind, or even productive way to go. If it was me I'd question if your GF is in fact the one for you. There has to be boundaries, even in arguments.
Frankly she would be better off persuading you to see your doctor rather than punishing you.
With anxiety under control life can look different, you can be more in control and employment and relationships that much easier - and more enjoyable
I hope you stay and keep on talking/venting:)
Croix
