Hi Tracy,
It is great to hear that you are feeling positive steps to improve things. I know you mention you have things to work on but acknowledging these is also a huge step in the right direction. Great stuff!
There will be setbacks time to time but having the knowledge on how to approach these when they happen is really useful. It sounds like you handled the setback with your son ok.
It also sounds like your daughter has found a positive change in that she feels comfortable to come and stay. That's wonderful.
Is it possible to talk to your daughter about your fear? I am not sure if you are comfortable doing so. I think sharing what you're worried about up front could alleviate some of the worried feelings you are having but I don't have much experience with anxiety.
Everyone has lapses in judgement, especially when we are in a highly emotional state and feeling lonely. We just cope the best we can at the time. To me, the mistake is only the impact to your child's feelings and that they are possibly not experienced in life enough to empathise with how you were feeling at the time. It sounds like they are considering it in terms if the impact to them, not in terms of how you were feeling or what you needed at that low point. Maybe forgiving yourself first might be a good step. It seems obvious that you never intended to cause pain to your kids but I don't think you should beat yourself up about wanting to feel less lonely at the time. (Hugs, if you'd like one of course).
Thinking of you and hoping you have a lovely time with your daughter.
Let us know how it goes and don't forget we're hear for you.
Carol xx
