Hello everyone! I am 23 years old, I am from South America and 1 year ago I began to feel anxiety and it all started because my partner used to cheated on me through social media and I found too many disturbing things that left me in shock, with immense sadness and anxiety x1000. I started to cry every day without stopping, to think too much, to feel alone and worthless.
My partner is helping me get my residence in this country, so we are in that process, which has also been very stressful. My whole family lives in South America and although I have told them my situation, they do not support me very much because they care more about the Visa situation and they always put on me so much pressure every time I call them, and that’s why Im scared to call them sometimes because I know I’m gonna feel worst and they always talk to me about my country situation. I live with my partner since 1 year ago and although we have many material things, Good jobs and some money to live decently, our relationship has been a disaster. I love him but I also know that if I want to be happy, I must get away from him but is not easy and that is the problem.
So after everything he did to me, he has tried to change but not quite. My partner has serious addictions that I don't feel comfortable with either. Anxiety has gotten worse, it gives me panic attacks that I can't breathe and I feel like I'm going to die, my hands shake, I wake up in the night scared, I have nightmares, during the day I suffer from dizziness and obsessive thoughts, Crying for not reason and at anytime, Especially when I am alone.
I work in childcare and my work has been very therapeutic for me, it makes me happy and it has become my refuge but when I'm not working, anxiety takes over my body and my mind again. It is difficult to leave my partner, since we have some bills to pay, the lease of the house, commitments, a visa in process that cost 8000 dollars. All this makes me anxious, extremely sad and has even put me in discussions with my family. My parents have always advised me and have been for me all the time and I have had a good relationship with them but all this has weakened that relationship. My partner does not like to see me cry because he always feels bad and guilty and becomes a bad temper. I’ve seen 3 psychologists already, and I’ve been in the church also but I haven’t get better. I’ve told him to go to the psychologist but he is not keen. Im gonna get crazy.
Any advice please?
