Anxiety or just overreacting?

[sm23]

Hi, I’m new here and I really just want to know what’s going on.

I don’t know if I have anxiety or if I just worry way too much. I go from being ‘normal’ to stressing about really little things that other people probably won’t even worry about.

I could have a really good day, but at night, right before I go to sleep, my brain just repeats all the things that I did wrong that day or things that could have gone wrong and I find it really hard to sleep. I also get affected by things really easily, no matter how small it is.

I also obsess over whatever it is I’m worried about and I usually end up annoying the people I talk about it to. Usually when I’m worrying about something, I get a really uncomfortable tingling sensation that kind of moves from my heart to my hands and I have to keep fidgetting to keep it under control. My jaws also end up getting lind of sore because I clench them subconsciously when I’m nervous. It also often feels like something is going to go horribly wrong, or I feel like people actually secretly hate me.

I also find that I always find new things to be anxious about. I recently just started a new job and while I was working I felt pretty good and comfortable, but right after I finished my shift I started overanalysing everything I did and made myself really anxious. Then when I get over that, I’ll get anxious about some other stupid thing. Sometimes I’ll just start getting really nervous for some reason.

This has been going on for at least a year and a half now, and even though some days I’ll be completely fine, it feels like im worrying most of the time. And I feel like my worries are really out of proportion. Even if its a normal thing to be scared about, like a job interview or a speech, it seems like I’m overreacting when I compare my feelings to my friends.

I don’t know if that really made sense or if what I wrote is even worth posting but it’s getting really annoying and K feel bad because I usually annoy the people I’m close with.

Thanks in advance.

[Hope_for_the_best]

Welcome to the forum, sm23! From what you described, it does sound like anxiety. I would suggest that you consult your GP and get referred for counselling. On top of that, have you tried belly breathing and meditation? Those are handy tools of relaxation, and there are a lot of videos/apps that teach you how to do that. You could also try a strategy called "creating a worry period". Basically, it means you set a fixed time to worry each time. You list all your worried but leave them to your scheduled time slot. Think of solutions for your worries (if any). At other time of the day, you simply don't worry. If worries come to your mind out of the worry period, jot them down and leave them for your worry period. Personally, I find it quite helpful.

[Unbeliever]

I get what you are saying...

Everybody does this to some degree. I think it is the result of the "wanting to appear perfect all the time" sickness that we have developed in our society.

The truth is... how we handle things in the spur of the moment is always going to be "less effective" than if we had 24 hours to think and plan for it (which is what you are doing by thinking about them afterwards). It would be strange if this wasn't the case.

But imagine how little would ever get done if we had to spend 24 hours preparing for every little thing we did. Sure, those things might all get done in a way that was exceptional, but it wouldn't make up for the amount of things done "less effectively" that were not done in the meantime.

Also imagine this. If everything that everyone did was always "perfect" in reality this would be a terrible world to exist in.

Nothing would have any personality, everything would be the same, there would be nothing to seperate you or me or anyone from anyone else.

There would be no stories to share, because everyone's experience would be the same. Noone would learn anything or get better at anything or stand out in any way from anyone else and worst of all, nothing could ever improve or change because a "perfect mind" would be incapable of seeing anything outside of "perfection"... they would literally be blind to everything else. Honestly, it would be horrible.

You are not perfect. And that is an awesome thing that you should be proud of. My flaws and your flaws make us who we are, reveal interesting parts of our personalities, seperate us from each other.

And imagine if "perfect you" and "perfect me" met for the first time. What exactly would we talk about?

No interesting story ever went... "This "thing" happened, I handled it perfectly... the end". You see what I mean.

The other thing is... despite what we think, very few people are actually sitting around "hating us" when we are not around.

Ironically, most people are too busy also obsessing over mistakes they made that day or if people "like them" or not... or just trying to relax and to not think about those type of things at the end of the day.

So, my advice is to learn to love those flaws that make up your personality and who you are, that make you uniquely you... and the few left over that you just "can't stand" for whatever reason, focus on improving them until they no longer bother you.

In the end, you are a perfectly imperfect you and that's what makes you special.