Anxiety is turning into a crisis

[KJ1972]

I don't know where to start. I feel so silly as what has triggered my anxiety is so silly. But now I'm getting to the point where I want to hurt myself just to get through. This has come about because I was called into the office at work by my boss who respect so much and who has help me and believed in me for years. It was because I decided to go out to get a coffee with two co workers and it took longer then 15 minutes. Normally this wouldn't be an issue but I think it was the two people I went with. I work in local government and to say there is politics everywhere is an understatement. He didn't directly warn me about then but I think that is what he was meaning. Saying it could be bad for my career and perception is everything. That I need to look out for myself. I know there is issues between the two supervisors but I like both and get on with both. I also know that technically taking a break for longer then 15 minutes is wrong so I understand that I was in the wrong but everyone does it. I think my anxiety is coming from not understanding the bigger picture and not being able to talk about it. It's playing on my mind and now I just want to hurt myself to feel something else. I'm afraid I've let my boss down even though I know he won't hold it against me in fact he has probably already moved on. I also think someone deliberately mentioned it. I have no proof and I know it sounds paranoid but I do believe one person is working against me. Now I'm writing this I realise I sound crazy.

I do feel better now that I have written this down but I just don't know how to stem the anxiety and put it behind me. I know Monday is a new day and work will be fine but I don't know how to clear my mind. I hate feeling like this. I feel my life is such a mess. I feel worse cause I know this is so pathetic compared to what others are going through. I feel so guilty for wasting people's time on something that is so insignificant. I am so confused. I don't want to feel like this any more.

[Sophie_M]

Hi KJ1972,

We are so sorry to hear about what you're going through; it sounds like it has been a tough time. Thank you for being part of our forums, it takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for support and we are so glad that you have done so. We hope that you can get some support here, the community will be here to listen and chat with you. You can also reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14.  We have sent you a private email so that we can support you further.

[Petal22]

Hi KJ1972,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Anxiety can make us feel very overwhelmed I understand, I went through severe anxiety OCD.

Maybe try to google a meditation and try to follow it a guided one….. it can help to slow down the mind…… when our anxiety is high our mind tends to race.

Try to slow down your breathing.

Practice being mindful.

This isn’t pathetic in any way our anxiety can make us feel all types of things.

When I first started to experience mine at a high state I thought I was going crazy.

I seeked professional help and I’m now fully recovered.

Have you thought about speaking to your gp about the way you are feeling you could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist who can give you many helpful strategies for anxiety.

I understand the feeling of confusion I also felt this way with anxiety.

Hang in there your not alone.