Anxiety is ruining my life

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

I've been alone for ten years because I didn't think I could manage a relationship. Turned out I was right. My worries and insecurity tired my boyfriend out and we've split up. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to accept and move forward, perhaps because I'm absolutely alone now. I don't have family or friends either as those relationships were equally difficult for me to manage with my anxiety. I feel like I can't seem to connect with anyone. I don't work either so my days are long and empty. I do have a psychologist that I see every six weeks, but I just feel like "is this it?" "is this my life?". Is there anyone else out there that is entirely alone?

[LesDave]

I decided 20 years ago I was better off alone. My sadness and anxiety was too much for others. And this just made me feel worse. So I decided to learn to be alone. After a few years, I am ok with it. You're not alone in being alone, and you're not alone in not being able to connect. But consider this. VERY FEW people in relationships are actually happy. It's a matter of convenience for most people. So you're not really missing out on much. You are simply being more honest than most people. Today was a tough day. I went out and got among people and feel disconnected. But I know that most of these relationships people have are fake anyway. The world is full of people who seem to be talking to each other, but nobody is really listening. It's just symbolism. They're not connected at all. My suggestion is to find something spiritual or cultural that rows your boat and connect with people that way. At least those relationships are based on a common need.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Thanks for your reply. It was feeling a bit lonely in here too, so I appreciate that. I'm sorry your day was difficult. You mention learning to be alone. My boyfriend used to talk about self-actualisation (spelling?). Apparently it means to be content with yourself and therefore not needing anyone else. I guess that's why he found our break up easy. I wish I felt the same. I've done some meditation since my first post and I'm feeling a little less distressed, so maybe I'll just need to keep practicing until enough time has passed. Thanks again for replying, it's really appreciated.

[SMER]

Hi Katyonthehamsterwheel...

I'm on the other side.
My partner has anxiety.
I split up with him once, because I didn't understand

I'm trying very hard to stay grounded and to work with his boundaries.
It's tricky though.

With this is mind, find one person in your life you can trust.
When you are feeling well reach out and talk to them about your anxiety.
Consider a plan that may make small changes in your everyday life. It may help?
I hope to do this with my BF when he is feeling well.
The more we talk about anxiety, the stigma changes.
In the meantime reach out on this forum...it is a safe space.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

I don't have anyone I can talk to. Feeling really down. I tried the online chat thing but they weren't very helpful. Is anyone out there? 😞