I'm terrified to work

[beebug]

I just started a new job and I haven't been sleeping every night before a shift. I become so anxious about working. Its fast paced working in food something I have some before and do have a good grip on.

The only problem is whenever I get overworked, my anxiety goes through the roof and I start to get paranoid. I think everybody in the store is talking about me (customers) and looking and staring and judging.

I haven't told anyone about my anxiety yet because I'm still in the three month period and I don't want to get fired (I know it's ilegal to do so but still)

I sit hours on end before my shift trying to think of ways to get out of it, to avoid going into work. And it sucks because I do love the work. I enjoy being focused and have structure and doing something. And on good days I can handle the fast paced environment.

I'm trying so hard because I really do need this job. I'm just scared I'm going to stop going in like what normally happens because my anxiety gets too much.

I'm not ready to see somebody about my anxiety right now because I have a hard time trusting doctors/pyschologists.

I feel like a burden to everyone around me. If I stay at work I'll let people down by being slow. But if I stop working I let the people close to me down by not working.

I've lost a lot of confidence as we from being out of work and let all the thoughts get the better of me.

I don't know what to do.

[YellowPoppy]

Hi Beebug,
I think you need to tell someone how your feeling, it doesn't need to be a professional or someone at work, but you need to let someone in your life know that this is happening.

It can take some of the pressure off and make you feel a little less lonely.

I'm not a doctor just speaking from my experience.

Hope this helps

YellowPoppy

[Bee71]

Hello there 🤚 just to say that I am on the same boat with crippling anxiety, increased now with a new job. You are not alone. After 12 months of suffering in silence I had to admit that I have a problem and made an app with my GP for Monday.

[5topaz5]

Oh beebug please don't think customers are looking at you and judging.
Those customers are me and I'm probably just thinking about the food 🙂

In all seriousness, I know how you feel. Working with the public is hard at time. Juggling a fast paced role too.

I know you are not really keen on speaking with someone but you might be really surprised. The person I talk to now is helping. And I look forward to seeing her now. The first person I saw didnt really help. So don't be discouraged. There is someone out there that will give just a few pointers or insight.

[LesDave]

MOst of us understand your struggle. We deal with the same stuff daily. It's those voices in your head you need to quiet. Right now you've got no peace. If you leave this job, it just gets harder because the voices have some credible evidence to nag you with doubt. 1. get some exercise. 2. eat a bit healthier. 3. when the voices come tell them they can stay in your head but you won't engage them. 4. try to focus on what is right in front of you right now instead of giving in to the nagging in your head.