Anxiety hitting again

[JacintaMarie]

Hi again, my next thread, I went to sleep but now at 2:44am my anxiety has arrived again, I did something at work wrong and I hate myself for doing the wrong thing, I've lost perspective so I don't know if it's important or will fix itself.

I wish I would stop, I tell my brain to calm down but it doesn't. One of my triggers is making a mistake at work, of stuffing up, of not slowing down.

I am annoyed at myself for doing it and hate that I seem to keep on doing it.

Thank you for letting me get this out,

[JacintaMarie]

Hi, sorry for yet another moan from me, as a white person who has had a good life, compared to others, the Afghans, the Aboriginal &Torres Strait Islanders, Indigenous people & everyone else who has bad stuff happen to them, I'm sorry for your trauma & hope Good Things can come to you, just hold on, it will get better. It will take time but its coming.

My trigger was a librarian sent out a correction note about a typo to the Magistrates court & for previous years I didn't pick up on any typos, or if I did, I managed to figure it out myself, but I didn't tell anyone, I am trying to work through this.

Another of my flaws is that at work I'm not a good communicator, I always seem to write stuff wrong. Or when people tell me stuff to do, they don't say it nicely to me, they panic at me then that triggers me, but this is in my head, because people keep on telling me to get over it and also to, people are anxious over using a foot stool, they don't want to use a footstool to reach the high stuff, they would rather it, not be on the high shelves (it needs to, for space consideration) I feel like I'm being bad when I'm using it, that I'm not being careful enough, then feel bad for not caring that they care. some people say its just the environment of the office.

Also too, with the people struggling with the corona virus, Everyone, I know its tough for you, it is, but it will end! I don't know when, but it will! We've just have to do our best, get through it & I'm sorry for all the deaths, poor people, we've got to make the most of our lives, to live our lives for the people who have died. They would want us to do that & as long as you remember them, their spirits will be with us, always.

Its hard, but keep going everyone, like the little train who think they could, we're almost to the top of the mountain, just need a little more to go.

I apologize if I've offended anyone.

Sorry for my long rant! And my stupid worrying overthings I shouldn't worry about.

JacintaMarie

[JacintaMarie]

Hi

I was getting better, but I made a mistake at work, didn't know it until someone pointed it out, at first thought it was okay, well assumed it was,I ended up investigating it & fixed it up, but I am an idiot, the person was panicking about the mistake and I always seem to make them panic, they only panic when something wrong happens, actually any mistake that occurs there, its always a big thing. I can't work in a place where people panic, I would rather just fix it (no matter how many times, though I am unique like this,) but can't get another job, it took me ten years to get this one and where can I go where I won't make a mistake, also too its the same with processing, if I make a mistake its so bad!!!! I can't guarantee thst I'm never going to make a mistake.

Also, am relieved when publishers make mistakes, as don't feel so alone, I seem to be the only one that makes mistakes in offices, everyone id perfect! Sometimes I wish they would get rid of the binding, to make it easier or make it online so we don't have to worry no more about stupid trivial mistakes or it could be just her, ad my rational mind is saying, but hard as my anxiety is triggering on the mistake, did another muck up, people don't like the same mistake happening over & over.