Anxiety from fear of my boss's boss - anyone else the same?

JeanD · ‎05-10-2020

Hi,

My boss's boss called me out at work in front of a small forum of colleagues.
And this has triggered anxiety in me and a real loss of self confidence in anything work related - regardless of whether it has something to do with him or not.

But it gets real bad whenever it has something directly to do with him - a meeting, an email etc. I can't properly sleep in the days leading up to knowing I have a meeting where he will be in it as well. And even worse the meeting he called me out in with the same forum of people happens on a semi regular basis.

I keep telling myself I have to learn how to work under difficult bosses - not all are or will be the more "people people" kinda bosses, but finding it real hard to cope as the anxiety just rises so high at the thought of him.

Wondering if anyone else has been in this position? What did you do?

CHNN · ‎06-10-2020

Hi JeanD,

I had the same experiences in my job before I lost it to COVID. The best advice I can give is don't take it personally, as hard as that is to hear. Do your job to the best of your capability, that's all you can be expected to do and don't bother yourself with other peoples opinions of you.

I hope your situation improves.

JeanD · ‎06-10-2020

Thanks CHNN, I just can't seem to get over it. Like today I'm hiding under the covers on the couch so crippled with my anxiety and have had to take the day off work.

He's made me second guess myself so much I don't feel like I am doing my job capably anymore and so he'll / he is seeing that and I can't move on from this

SarahZ · ‎06-10-2020

Hello JeanD,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear about your experiences with your boss's boss, and can't imagine how hurtful these incidences must be. I can definitely see how this is negatively impacting your anxiety. If workplace issues need to be addressed, the conversation needs to be constructive and supportive, and never humiliating or demeaning. Although I have never personally been in a situation like this, I think holding it out will not be sustainable for your mental-health in the long-term. Have you had a discussion about this with the immediate boss overseeing you? Managers are responsible for monitoring the mental health of staff so I think this is definitely something you can mention if you feel up to it.

You might also want to talk through these feelings with the friendly counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 who are also available to provide support and advice 24/7. You could also try the Beyond Blue Support Service on the daily web chat (between 3pm–12am) and email (with a response provided within 24 hours). For more details, see this link https://www.beyondblue.org.au/about-us/contact-us.

Please feel free to give an update whenever you feel up to it. A workplace should be a safe, supportive environment that you look forward to going to each day. Just because some people are in higher position doesn't mean they can treat you in poor manner. Please remember your worth!

Sending you well wishes and positive thoughts! ~