Anxiety eating away at me

[Rainbowpolly]

Hi

I have been suffering with alot of Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Insomnia alot in the last 2 years, but the last 4 weeks have exploded for me.

I lost my best mate and yes he was a dog, I know some might not think this is important he had a 18 month battle with Cancer and just like humans I took care of him, it was very hard on me. Then I was told that my work hours will be reduced to 1/2 of what I used to do, I know others have lost alot more but this has meant I'm at home now with my thoughts alot more, I dont have an overly supportive partner and my kids are older and take care of themselves so Im not mummy to any babies. To compond my anxiety I have a friend who obsessively sends me alot of information on Covid Vaccines and the negitive affects it has aswell as alot of other Covid related video and media, this has now made me very anxious about getting the vaccine and the Panic Attacks are coming daily and sometimes 2 or 3 times, I don't sleep without the aid of over the counter medication as my Dr won't give me anything alse, I dont mind this, and I barely eat because of all this to add another level I fell walking, I do this to clear my head, and now im in a moonboot for 4 to 6 weeks, which means I cannot walk to zone out. I feel like its a hopeless and have lost all interest in everything I used to love cooking and took pride in my appearance and my home now I just don't care, I'm angry scared and so very confused and the panic attacks, lack of sleep, stress headaches and anixety it taking its toll on my friendships and relationships with most people around me....

Thank you for reading my ridiculously long post im so sorry it is so long....

[HappyHelper88]

Hello Rainbowpolly, Thankyou for your post an welcome

I am so sorry to hear your going through this, you are not alone
My dog is my best friend and if i lost him i dont know how i would cope, im heartbroken to read this and i am so so sorry this happened.
I also can relate i didnt work for a few months and being alone with my thoughts was difficult

That would be stressful, have you explained to your friend that you appreciate the info but would like to make up your own mind? Sometimes i put a certain contact on Do Not Disturb so i dont see messages constantly coming in and that helps with my anxiety
With your panic attacks its easier said then done but have you tried practicing breathing excercises to calm yourself down whether you breath in and out of a paper bag or Focus on controlling your breathing by breathing in slowly and deeply through your nose for three seconds, hold for two seconds and breathe out for three seconds
Then repeat this

Have you spoke to someone about what your going through, you have so much going on
I think you could really benefit from talking to someone about everything you have going on which can really help. You can speak to a counsellor for free anytime you need to talk to someone and they can give you good advice as well as direction. There are many free counselling services we also have a beyond blue counselling number we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat too. Please remember to reach out whenever you need to.

Hope this helps

[Rainbowpolly]

Hi Happyhelper88

Loosing my boy devastated me, and it started my downwards spiral. He meant the world to me, I have spoken to her and have told her straight up to stop sending me stuff, and have actually unfollowed her and a few others on social media so I can't see what they share. So I suppose its a step in the right direction.

I have been seeing a Clinical Psychologist for 2 years and he is wonderful, but its when im alone I start to get that overwhelming feeling and the panic starts up...i am trying meditation and music to go to sleep to and sometimes it works.

I plan to call someone tomorrow I find it easier to express myself verbally.

Thank you

[Petal22]

Hi Rainbowpolly,

Im sorry to hear of the passing of your beloved dog I understand this would be hard for you…

In regards to your friend who compulsively sends you negative information on Covid ….. don’t open them and please don’t read them…… steer clear of negativity instead put you attention on positive things……

Try googling and reading positive affirmations every day…… my social media is full of them I don’t put my attention on anything negative I just scroll on by….. I have no interest in reading anything negative because I don’t want negative energy……. I always look for the positive in everything in return you will be rewarded with positive emotions…

Sorry to hear you have trouble sleeping try to do some guided meditation before sleep…..

When you are at home alone I understand the anxiety feels worse it did for me ……. One of the things I did was write a list every night before going to sleep my list consisted of things I wanted to accomplish the next day…. Eg… showering, washing the dishes, vacuuming every time I did something I’d cross it off the list it kept me busy and I felt good for accomplishing what was on the list……. While doing these things on the list I did them mindfully when I showered how did the water feel on my body, how does the soap smell, how does the water sound…. By doing this I was exercising my attention and I was in the present moment and not stuck in my head…. We can train our minds to be in the present moment it just takes practice but it’s practice well spent……. Our attention is like a muscle and it needs exercise.

Guided meditation is great I can’t recommend it enough I believe it got me over the line…. I learned I’m not my thoughts but the watcher of my thoughts….

I understand the feeling of being scared I was terrified of my intrusive thoughts while I was in the grips of severe anxiety…

Have you spoken to your gp about medication if you want to go this way? If your anxiety is really affecting your life it may be an option for you….

Im sorry you partner isn’t very supportive, we can only hope that our loved ones support us with no judgment.

Hang in there

I’m here to chat

[manpreetrockerji]

Deep breaths

[Rainbowpolly]

Thank you Petal22

I am doing alot of what you have suggested, I have unfollowed alot of the negatives that have contributed to my negative thoughts, including from the ones close to me sharing the information, this unfortunately is one of the main contributing factors in all my negatives about Covid Vaccination and hesitancy, I am working through this with my Psychologist however with the state of the world we live in I can only see him every 4 weeks or so hes very busy.

I listen to sounds of rain while drifting off to sleep this helps and I put down all technology at minimum and hour before bed. I love reading so focus on that to take my mind off things and help me relax. But my alone time in my head is what gets me...

I've had a panic attack late today and now have a horrible headache but im trying to think of the good things that came out of today.

I spent the day with my daughter, the sun was shining, I actually cooked a yummy dinner, and Ive connected with some lovely people on this forum. And I've talked to my partner and even though hes not big on sharing stuff with strangers he supports me in whatever I need to help me through this, perhaps I just presumed that he would not agree.

Thank you for you reply and I will be researching all your suggestions to help me.

Have a wonderful night and day

[Petal22]

Hi Rainbowpolly,

Thats great that you are trying some of my suggestions….

When you have alone time when you feel yourself becoming stuck in your head gently bring yourself out and focus on something positive in the present moment…….. it takes practice to become aware when you are stuck in your head…….. when you feel you are stuck in your head you can choose to stand up…. Walk into a different room or outside side…… how does your feet feel on the ground? How does your skin feel? What can you hear? This brings you out into awareness……. It takes practice so keep practicing…… you can learn to be in the present moment the more you do this the easier it will become.

I hope your headache is better that’s great you are focusing on the good things….

Thats great that your partner is supporting you…. Sometimes it’s good to speak to our partners sometimes we think we know what they will say but we don’t really….. no one really knows what someone is thinking………. Sometimes they surprise us 😊

Have a nice day

[Rainbowpolly]

Petal22 thank you once again,

I honestly think I'm my own worst enemy, I try so hard not to read or see anything that may set me off in regards to the Covid vaccination, but it always finds me 1 negative thing in 1000 positives and I manage to find it, I've had another panic attack today while i was with my daughter she is starting to see them and that then worries me more It was actually about her and the vaccine and my hesitancy is now focused on what it might do to her.I know all my fear are unfounded because I have read all the misinformation on this it is rearing its head all the time. My brain just goes on this crazy tangent of what ifs and it turns into an attack.....I really need help with this I dont know who to turn to.....I want to be the fun loving outgoing not anxiety ridden person I was 2 years ago..... I want to see my Psychologist but hes so booked out....its really hard at the moment.

[Petal22]

Hi Rainbowpolly,

Has your psychologist taught you how to challenge your thoughts? This is really helpful….

You will get through this anxiety it’s temporary and you want get stronger….

😊

[Rainbowpolly]

Hi Again

Yeah he has and when I start to feel anxious and others are around they work well. But its the time im alone that is the issue like tonight my family is doing their own things(watching movies etc in bedrooms) so im in lounge reading and watching Stan, but alao looking at TicTok a bit, which I know does have alot of stuff about Covid and Vaccines but I scroll on by them and usually watch the silly Videos that make me laugh. I saw just the smallest of headings cause I refuse to read comments...

And bang I felt one coming on did all the things suggested and it subsided, problem is I then think about it for quite a time after that. So it never fully goes away. It is getting a little better I suppose I've been chatting to friends that have had the vaccine and their positive outcomes have helped..Im extremely angry at the people in my life who pushed their belief's on me, I would never try and infuence people like that and push my ideas of what I think on them, I was fine up until then...

Im trying to get back into see my Psychologist asap as my next appointment isnt til late October and I think I need something now. If I can't I will call the hotline again.