Anxiety creating Depression

[JB43]

Hi All,

First time poster, giving this a try with hope it makes me feel better.

23 year old male, fantastic job, sport lover, social and have many great friends. From the outside i would seem like a happy and successful young person but the truth is i'm often struggling with Anxiety. I take medication and have for quite sometime, which i believe still helps (hard to compare as it's been a long time) but i have very hard stages, which leads to some very dark times. Anxiety holds me back from doing so many things i want to do, purely to avoid the potential attack that would be involved. Anxiety stopping me from doing things i want to do leads to bad depression.

I can be feeling fine in a social setting, but suddenly the wave of anxiety comes along for no obvious reason and it makes me feel like i'm going to be sick and need to go to the toilet instantly. I avoid situations like dating, going out for drinks, holidays etc because of it, though when i have been in those positions, i push through and eventually feel absolutely fine. The fear of it coming is enough to deter me from doing these things, which leads to bad patches of depression because i can't do things i want to do. These patches of depression make me feel like everything is too hard and nothing is worth doing. It's better just to stay at home and work where i feel safe/fine.

Just want to know if anyone else struggles with these same situations? it's such a shit thing to have to think of every possible situation before you even leave the home, i just want to live and live my life.

Would love to hear from anyone

[james1]

Hello JB43,

Welcome and good on you for posting here.

Like you said, many of us look and sound fine from the outside, but it takes so much effort to put on this face of 'normalcy'. Often, we get so tired from this that even a small social gathering just feels defeating and we get judged for not attending.

Another one of the things that frustrates me most is that sometimes people take it the other way and think that because we do actually enjoy ourselves sometimes at these social settings, we therefore can't be suffering. So it's like we're being judged both ways - those who don't believe in anxiety, and those who think of anxiety as looking just one way.

It sounds like this is something you've been managing for a while now and I am glad to hear you have a support group around you between your job, sports and friends. Do you mind if I ask what brought you to post for the first time? Have you been okay recently?

James

[Ashleelhsa]

I thought I'd respond as I find your post both interesting and relevant. I don't suffer 'circumstantial anxiety' as such, yet it seems to come into my life when I least expect it - even when Im out and about doing things that make me happy. I am not scared of a situation, but more how my anxiety would effect the situation should it come about. I get a really foggy mind, I can't think or focus, I get confused and feel like I've been hit by a bus (literally). I am usually bright and bubbly, but as soon as I have anxiety I want to crawl under a rug and not talk to anyone. I feel awkward, vulnerable and just really afraid. I also experience debilitating pain in my body, so it also feels so physical I have to lie down.

I felt this might relate a little, I am a very high functioning, driven person. I present well, and like to keep myself busy, constantly looking for a new challenge or something to look forward to. I love to be social and chat to people, so it is strange when I'm experiencing anxiety and I come across as really sad, and struggle to talk to anyone. One of my biggest struggles is no one can see my anxiety, and I feel like I don't reflect the person I am. I am usually happy, positive and full of energy but I seem to lose myself in the anxiety.

I feel really sad because I have a beautiful life I could live and so much support around me. I just can't seem to grasp hold of it when I'm feeling ill. I don't really talk about it a lot, but I feel the same and is nice to know someone else out there does also.

Happy to chat / share experiences if you like 🙂

[Ashleelhsa]

I am also seeing a healthcare professional about it. My only concern is, she is trying to encourage me to push through my anxiety and not let it effect my social experiences (in hope it will help overcome my anxiety). I have been suffering from it for years, and it has created many really unpleasant situations for me, as well as overwhelming sadness and feeling alone. Not sure what to do or say to her, but I just don't feel it's the answer. It's really distressing for me, and although it's in my mind, it is real and I don't think pushing through it will help alleviate the symptoms (and just leads to more awkwardness, embarrassment).

I know I'm not just being 'scared', I really don't want to put myself in compromising situations when I don't feel I have control of the anxiety yet...

[JB43]

Hi James,

i just thought it's a potential new avenue for me to seek help and support through. I've always been very open with people about how I've struggled mentally but i rarely speak about it when i'm actually suffering bad patches of it. I've just had a bad period of anxiety and my usual coping mechanisms haven't been working for me. Which in turn have made me quite depressed and down, so i decided to have a go at actively chasing help rather than waiting and hoping i feel better soon.

[JB43]

Hi Ashleelhsa,

It's comforting to know that others have the same troubles and struggle with the same things. It can be quite flattening when you see friends on social media doing things you'd love to do, experiences you'd love to have that unfortunately anxiety stops. Especially at my age when everyone is living life to the fullest.

Hopefully we can both get past our anxieties and start living life the way we really want 🙂