Anxiety causes me to stare to the person I'm conversing with.

Green grass · ‎05-11-2020

Hi there all.

Does anyone else have trouble with listening to the person you're talking with and then the anxiety thoughts take hold?

And as a result, with the thoughts and trying to listen and understand what they are saying you start to stare into their eyes to intently. It is causing me stress and them an uncomfortable feeling as they start to back away.

Any advice is welcome especially if this is what happens to you.

Thanks

james1 · ‎05-11-2020

Hey Green grass,

All the time! Though I don't think I stare into their eyes so much as I stare generally, and it so happens that my face is pointing at their face.

Perhaps one thing is to practice with friends or others who know you, and wouldn't mind. Is there anyone you could practice with?

Specifically, it can help to just practice being in an uncomfortable situation and trying to process things more easily. It sounds really mechanical, but just telling yourself to blink or nod or do some other head action than stare, can help. It probably comes off really awkward to start, but the more you practice, the easier the whole situation gets.

The only other thing I'd add is that it's perfectly normal to feel really anxious in social situations and, sometimes, just admitting that can be really helpful. Personally, I find people are often quite understanding and non-judgemental. For them, it's just a matter of understanding that you are not feeling comfortable, and not that you're being creepy!

James

Green grass · ‎06-11-2020

Hi james1

Thanks for your response. Glad I'm not the only one who stares.

I have taken your advice on board. I am also practicing by watching people on the internet like the news. I sit in front of my computer and practice nodding my head and listening without staring.

Thanks mate.