Anxiety - can feel the panic coming. Not sure what to do?

[Towalkaway]

Hi,

I work in a very male dominated environment and industry that is very archaic in it's treatment of people. It's a world of dog eat dog. People like nothing more then to see you fail. The façade that the company cares is there and that's about it.

So over the years I have slowly worked my way up into a position that pays both very well and gives me ample time off. I was recently asked if I would consider going on a 1.5 to 2 year course for career advancement which would set the family up for life - hence I have accepted. This is where all the anxiety is now coming from. I am finding myself massively behind others in the course and pass rates are also very low for applicants with about 1 in 4 passing. So I am stuck in a really bad negative thought pattern, cannot sleep and waves of anxiety are frequent. Terrified I will have another panic attack again.

Not sure what my next step should be - Cannot really have holidays due to the course and if I went out on stress leave or took long service leave I could pretty much guarantee my career would be over. Thinking the next step is to possibly leave this environment and find another job - though I'd be taking a massive pay cut which I'm stressing about as well in terms of raising a family.

Any feedback would be much appreciated

[Betternow]

Hello Towalkaway

Many work places carry burdens that can potentially drag us under. It seems you have the emotional resources to handle the challenges otherwise you wouldn't have lasted this long and been promoted. Well done.

That said, anybody can reach point in their career where they start wondering if it's all worth it. If the company culture is dragging you down that will eventually affect your family. I have to admit, I am a bit confused on a couple of points.

You say the course is up to 2 years duration and you cant take holidays because it will interfere with the course. Do they not have semesters where holidays could be taken?

The pass rate is only 25%. Are other people in you firm engaging in the course? Have you discussed the outcomes of the course with a senior person at your work?

You talk about waves of anxiety and having at least one panic attack? Have you seen a mental health professional or had a diagnosis or therapy?

Nobody can advise you to walk away or stay. Only you can make that decision but I'm sure others would like to help if you could add some more information. Good luck.