Anxiety and finding the strength to help your self

[jessrobb]

I find it funny how I'm doing a social work course and want to help people but I can't help my self. Me and my friends in my course have this joke we can help others and give great advice but when it comes to our own lives the great advice just can't work full stop, it's like it's only good advice if it's given to someone else, and not your self.

My problem is when it all gets too much and thing pile up, I just can't tell the people around me I need help (mum &dad). I mean I can talk to one or two people but even when I do talk to them and I tell my self I'm going to tell the people around me I need help, I just can't. It's like I know I need to ask for help but for some odd reason can't.

[geoff]

Hello Jessrob, thanks for posting your comment and I believe this also happens to people who aren't studying for social work.

When someone else is suffering in some way, we want to help them, because it's kind and makes us feel good to help someone else, so we become absorbed and help them too much which then exhausts us, making us have no inclination to help ourselves.

Another reason could be that by studying this course you could believe that you are suffering yourself and it's something you should be dealing with because you should know how to solve it, unfortunately, it doesn't happen like this, although I'm not qualified to say.

There is nothing wrong with going to your doctor to get any help you need, that's what my psychologist had to do before I started seeing her, I know this because she lived next door to a friend who knew she wasn't feeling well, so there's no harm in asking, there's a lot of us who have been in the same position.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Alexlisa]

Hi Jessrob,

I can really relate to your post and wonder about it myself often. I agree, it does seem easier to give advice to others than apply that same advice to ourselves. Super frustrating.

I too struggle to reach out to those around me for help, even though I know it’s what I recommend others would do in the same situation. I’ve given some thought to why that is for myself and I think it’s because I have stigma built into me. It’s like, even though I’m a big advocate for breaking down stigma regarding mental health, I’ve also been raised in an environment where talking about your own mental health was looked down on or completely avoided. So I still get scared of being open, despite knowing how important it is.

In terms of studying to be a social worker, don’t be too hard on yourself for not being able to apply the skills to yourself. Knowing information and applying it are completely different, and you face the same struggles with motivation as everyone in that sense. Maybe you could think of it as a positive, that in the future you will be able to empathise with your clients when they struggle to implement the help you’re offering. You’ll understand what a battle it is to change habits and find the strength to follow through.

One other thing, it’s common for mental health workers to get their own professional help first. It can help to address the issues that you see in yourself, so that you’ll be better able to help people in the future. It’s about finding your own solid footing and what works for you first.

I hope this helps. Please don’t be too hard on yourself, by posting here you’ve made a good first step in understanding what’s happening for you. Well done ☺️

Take care,

Alexlisa