Anxiety and drinking alcohol

Adrian2014 · ‎28-10-2014

Hi all,

I have been having a hard time recently with anxiety and it has started to affect my daily life. I first suffered anxiety when I was around 24, I am now 30. It was after a fairly big life event, I was diagnosed with cancer although it was caught very early and I made a full recovery I had never really suffered from anxiety until after this, so I wonder if it was a trigger. I ended up taking CBT and it seemed to help and I got over it by changing jobs and doing something like stressful.

Anyway, I then emigrated to Australia from the UK and have been fine, until recently. I have never really been able to handle hangovers and often engage in 'hair of the dog' to quell my anxiety. The last two weeks though it's got pretty bad, I didn't go to work for 3 days as I couldn't leave the house to go to work. I'd end up drinking from 9am which makes me feel better temporarily. I went to the GP who prescribed me some medication, i took it for the first day but i felt horrible on it. I resolved to myself that I would try to get better naturally by eating well and exercising etc. So last week was really good, however I then ended up getting really drunk on friday, felt awful on saturday so drank all day. Then sunday was the same. It's now Tuesday and I haven't been to work as i'm stuck in a bad cycle. The thought of going to work in the morning feels me with dread. I obviously can't keep on like this as I will lose my job if I keep taking days off.

I know the alcohol is the root of the problems, I need to really moderate it and then I will be ok. Hopefully I can wean myself off today and get a good night sleep. Has anyone else been caught up in this self medicating with alcohol situation? I honestly don't think I am an alcoholic as I don't crave a drink when my anxiety is absent. It's just when it strikes, normally due to alcohol withdrawal I end up drinking again to make me feel better. I have hardly been eating the last few days and I have knots in my stomach. I woke up with terrible anxiety at like 4am and had to stop myself from reaching for some alcohol. I just don't now what's causing it. Anyway this is a good site!

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dougall · ‎28-10-2014

Hi, sorry to hear you are not coping too well. I know the thinking behind the drinking and it is always the drinking that is doing the thinking. Alcohol does make you not feel as anxious but it also does not make you feel anything other than wanting another drink. When you have to rely on alcohol so much there is a problem. I have a problem with drink, I have one glass of wine and I have to finish the bottle, sometimes this makes the anxiety worse other times it make you forget. I tend to try to avoid drinking everyday otherwise I would get nothing done. Have you tried other things instead of reaching for drink? I know through experience that once alcohol has a hold it does not let go easily and we all think we can stop, no problem. I stopped drinking for 6 years and had to work out a way to cope, I managed so I thought I am okay so I can handle the drink so I had a wine and I am back to the same place using the drink to cope with my anxiety when something has just tipped me over the coping edge. It messes with your thinking. Try not to have any alcohol in your place or within easy reach. Easier said than done. If I want a bottle of wine I have to walk to the bottle shop and back so that tends to put me off. At your age it is what I was doing. My father used to drink to cope with his problems so that is how I learned my coping skills. I hope you can cut down and control your anxiety. People on this forum are always looking out for you.

Adrian2014 · ‎28-10-2014

Thanks for responding. I have had another day on the drink. Although I haven't taken it to extremes like I did yesterday so I am hoping I shouldn't feel too bad tomorrow. I haven't really tried anything else. If truth be told I have been self medicating my anxiety issues by using alcohol for a number of years now. It's just that these last few weeks it's been taken to extreme by me starting so early in the morning. I do not think I am an alcoholic as I can go days without drinking, but I find I use alcohol as a means to silence the internal panic and worry I feel which seems to get out of control. I just seem to get in a rut when boozing which leads me into this situation. Last week I really did well after having a bit of a breakdown the week before, so I know that my illness isn't something which is too far gone. I don't think I am really badly depressed, but it's clear I have a problem with anxiety and I am self medicating. As you say it's easier said than done to not have alcohol in the house. When my anxiety is bad I actually panic if I don't have alcohol close by as my mind starts going crazy....it's a horrible cycle but as I say not insurmountable. Last week I was was happy and I only had a couple of drinks in the evening at home after work which is fairly normal. I am just worried about tomorrow morning, I don't want to wake up and be anxious. I need to go to work. I am thinking I may just take an anti anxiety medication with me so that if I start panicking I can take that rather than resort to drink. I know alcohol isn't the answer and I know I can feel good again.

HA1 · ‎29-10-2014

Hi Adrian

there must a large percentage of people with depression/anxiety that seek alcohol as a means of self medicating. Because it gives us temporary relief ... very temporary. I have spoken of my own experience in other threads. The sad reality is that in the long run, it will make you worse. Alcohol is a depressant and over a period of time will gradually compound your existing illness. Especially, if you suddenly increase your drinking significantly.

I had always been a moderate drinker, usually weekends only, but over a period of a few years it started to increase for a variety of reasons. Towards the end I had my 'wonderful' window in the evenings where I could turn to drinking every day. Made me switch off, relax and allowed me to sleep. It came crashing down one day when I had a very bad total meltdown. I have not had a drink since.

Please make a big effort Adrian, to stop before it really gets to your ilness. If you are on medication it will also negate the intended effect of the medicine.

good luck

K

dougall · ‎29-10-2014

Hi at the moment I think the alcohol has a bigger hold on you than you realize. When I drink it also calms the anxiety and stops the voices in my head arguing about whether I am being rational or irrational. A couple of drinks occasionally is okay, ha ha, who does that? I have a 22 year old daughter who thinks pre drinks before going out is the done thing, her pre drinks put my whole months worth of drinking to shame. We all have a reason for drinking and you have said it is to cope with your anxiety. It will get worse if you keep masking it with alcohol, I know did that, it sneaks up on you.

dougall · ‎29-10-2014

I am so proud of you for making that commitment.

dougall · ‎29-10-2014

Hi Adrian, you have the strength in you to beat things, you beat cancer. Which part of the UK are you from because I am from Irvine and spent my teenage years in the Midlands. I came over to Australia 23 years ago, it is like being on holiday with the weather and the social scene is quite full on. Alcohol has a way of making things appear good or bad there is never a grey area with it. I consider myself an alcoholic even though I don't drink everyday, I think this way because I cannot stop at just one drink. I am proud of you for telling your story and trying to do the best you can. Have you family here that can help?

Adrian2014 · ‎29-10-2014

I agree I definitely have an issue with binge drinking on the weekends, which does not help at all. However generally I can have two glasses of wine in an evening and not drink again for 3 days after that so I don't feel I have no control. I don't have family over here unfortunately. I haven't told them as I don't want them to worry about me. At the end of the day they are the other side of the world. Anyway I find the GPs are really limited, I mean you go there crying for help and the response is to say stop drinking. That isn't that easy unfortunately when you have pretty bad anxiety and the only respite you get is by having a drink.

dougall · ‎29-10-2014

Hi Adrian, do you have anyone over here with you? I know what you mean about the doctors, they either prescribe a pill or send you to someone else, it is probably because they have so many patients to see. When I first moved here I used to say my family was only a phone call away, I did not realise how much those calls would cost. I do not regret coming over here, it did take me quite a few years to get over the homesick feeling. It is hard when you are in a place where your brain is shouting out for help and you can't find it right at that moment. It is good to have this forum and it would also be good to have someone there at the moment you need someone, unfortunately life is not like that. I get to a point that I walk down the street just to find someone who might see I am in need of help, they don't notice and you just can't stop anyone. Go to the hospital or the police and they think you are crazy so recommend you go see someone. What about friends or workmates that don't drink with you do they know that you suffer from anxiety? I know it is hard to talk to someone about the problem. Whenever I have told someone I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks you can literally see them back off. I know there are groups that you can go to that can help, here MIFSA is somewhere that you can go and no one judges. I don't know which state you are in, I am in SA. It is okay for people to say stop drinking, call someone, join a group ect. sometimes you just want the solution in front of you right there right then. Like everything else an effort has to be put in, it takes effort to drink i.e. buy the drink, open the bottle, pour into a glass, drink, empty bottle, wash glass, recycle bottle and start again. Do you know what sets your anxiety off?

Adrian2014 · ‎29-10-2014

I have started drinking at 9am again. I went to work but had to walk out the office and go to the pub again. My anxiety was so bad this morning. I hardly slept and just feel detached. I went to see my regular GP who wasnt in so I saw another GP who palmed me off by telling me to stop drinking. That type of advice is not really going to help me as my anxiety is still so powerful and I have real trouble controlling it. I have spoken to one of my close friends who thinks its stress related from doing a pressured job which I dont like doing. I do feel my job is the root of my problems. Maybe I need to change career and do something less pressurised. I have disliked doing my job for years. The last time I had a bad episode like this which was 6 years ago I quit my job and surprise surprise my anxiety went also. Now I am back doing a similar job and I am feeling the anxiety again.