Hi, I am 37 years old and married with 2 children, a 2 year old and a 2 month old. I started having panic attacks about 6 months after having my first daughter and started on medication which I feel has helped with my tendency to obsess over things. My husband isn’t really into talking about feelings and has the attitude of “just get on with it”. I don’t have many friends and my parents are really religious and live overseas. My dad has dementia and I don’t have too much of a friendship base (although I have chosen to spend a lot of time alone anyway.)
Anxiety is starting up again and I know it doesn’t help that I drank some alcohol yesterday. We are about to do a move from city to regional area and I feel overwhelmed about it. I recently found out I missed out on redundancy pay from my company by resigning just a month too soon and I didn’t go back to work after my first child so I’m reliant on my husband. He dislikes his job and doesn’t see a way out. I hate the thought of leaving my babies (although he doesn’t want me to return to work too soon). I guess I feel a lack of control, a fear that I won’t be good enough if I do end up having to work. I don’t know how I’m going to juggle everything with no support system.
My husband isn’t there for me emotionally and I feel bad that he has back pain from his job. I’m sure he thinks my job as a full time mother is much easier than his gig and it gets me to. I feel a bit useless yet so happy and blessed to have these children. I often think about things in life that could hurt them and that makes me fearful for their future. I find it hard to relax and go with the flow.
can anyone relate?
