Anxiety about life

[Nickname_70EA4DF9-26E9-42]

I don't know where to start other then give you an insight to my life in a nutshell then you can tell me if this is all in my head or if I'm being over the top.

My mum dropped my brothers and I at school when I was 11 then never picked us up we never seen her for a while (a year) then as we grew up and become adults perhaps once a year on Christmas and phone calls once every few months. I never had her as a role model when I needed it the most.

Now she has moved up to be in the same town as me and calls me everyday and is causing grief within the family.

My brothers who I love so much just can't seem to get their lives together being alcoholics, can't hold jobs, lash out when drinking and I have to sit and watch their lives crumble when they both had the essentials to become great adults they just can't seem to grasp they're very lucky that dad done the best he could which most get less and achieve more in life. I tried as well being the oldest I put them on the right career paths, always there in the bad times, I get them out of trouble and love them unconditionally more then their mother would.

I myself have young daughters a partner but I constantly worry about my family, my mother is always calling me and abusing me, my dad moved away because he couldn't stand watching my brothers.

I've become so isolated in myself I have none to talk to and no friends who I could talk about my issues to and noone cares about me. I never get calls just to see how I'm going I just get calls to borrow money, want some thing or just to be abused because I don't ring my mum and never go over even though I feel like I barely no her she is almost a stranger to me who won't leave me alone.

I have the best husband but he just says to stop worrying so much but I can't.

My husbands family constantly cause drama within them selves but this doesn't help my stress and anxiety levels at all.

Agghh I just want to stop worrying about everything and everyone for once it consumes me and I'm not happy my girls need a happy mum not one who is about to loose her mind.

[geoff]

hello AC, this is a very sad story which I am so sorry that you had to go through and now still struggling with it.
It's difficult to know where to begin, however as you know your mother isn't a mother to you and your brothers, she deserted all of you and now she wants to get back in contact with you, well that's too late because she can't be expected that she could ever be forgiven, certainly not, especially when she is never pleasant and only causes you grief plus annoyance, so you have to block her phone number or tell her to leave you alone, otherwise an AVO will be taken out on her, plus the fact that you aren't sure whether she herself is an alcoholic.
You did what you could for your brothers, being their 'mother figure' in raising them up, but now they too are alcoholics, that's not your fault, but not having their mum around has played a significant part to how they are now and I'm not sure whether or not they are married, but one thing you must do is stop giving your money away, because it's only being spent on alcohol and/or smokes, it's money you definitely need for yourself, the house payment, the girls education or car loan, whatever it is you mustn't give it away.
You have done your best for your brothers but can't feed them for their addiction, and I would suggest that they need help, but I'm not sure that's what they would ever want to do.
This maybe hard for you to do, but I would also block their phone numbers and tell them not to come around and visit you, because with them, your mother and in laws they are all causing this trouble, and don't be fooled by your brothers saying that they need the money to pay for groceries, electricity because it's only an excuse to get money off you.
Your husband maybe the best, however you need to stop all communication with your family, except your dad, but certainly need to go and see your doctor.
I'm out of space, but want to continue talking with you. Geoff. x