Antenatal anxiety

kned · ‎22-03-2019

Thought I'd reach out on here to see if there are any mums (or dads) who have experience antenatal anxiety?

I'm nearly 33 weeks and I think I can finally admit that I have some antenatal anxiety. I will talk to my Dr at the next checkup but I was hoping others may be able to share their experience. What helped you get through the pregnancy? Did it go away after the baby was born? Do you have any online resources or books or apps you can recommend?

This is my 3rd baby and I did have a bit of anxiety with the last 2 but not nearly this bad.

Thanks

Nurse_Jenn · ‎23-03-2019

Hi kned,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum. It is great to see you reaching out on the forum as there are many others who experience stress during pregnancy. Anxiety is common but there is support out there for you. Be kind to yourself and my best advise is to reach out for some support. You are already taking steps to do this like reaching out on the forum.

I wonder if have tried any strategies such as light exercise such as walking, pregnancy yoga, or mindfulness? There is a great app called Smiling Mind.

Another option that doesn’t require you to get a GP referral is a program called Mindspot which helps people with anxiety and/or depression. It is a free online service but you also can talk to someone over the phone. www.mindspot.org.au

As you have already indicated, you can vsit your GP and they can also link you in with a perinatal service that supports people who are struggling. There are specific counsellors who work with mums in the perinatal period. Your GP can refer you to a service. Another option would be to talk with your midwife as they may be able to link you in with community resources.

There is a website called Raising Children that has a lot of tips and information about the challenges of parenthood and pregnancy. Search ‘depression’and ‘anxiety’ for information.
https://raisingchildren.net.au

If your having to wait to see a counsellor you can call PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety aNd Depression Australia) who have a support line and very informative website. The number is 1300 726 306 and is available M-F 9am-7:30pm AEST
https://www.panda.org.au

You can also reach out to is the beyondblue support line on 1300 22 4636 and this is available 24/7

Pregnancy is different for everyone and as you know, can be different with each child you carry. You are not alone. Call a support number or visit a GP or clinic soon and let us know how you go on the forum.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn

White_Rose · ‎23-03-2019

Dear Kned

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your pregnancy. I have read Nurse Jenn's post to you and see there is lots of support out there. Always good to get support as pregnancy can be challenging with or without anxiety.

Third child, terrific. I had four so I understand the pressures of caring for young children while you are pregnant. It was so much easier the first time round without the need to attend to other children.

May I ask if you know what you are anxious about? Is it general anxiety or due to something specific? Not that it makes much difference as anxiety is a drain on your system.

I did not experience anxiety in my pregnancies, or it was very low level so I cannot offer any coping mechanisms, only general suggestions such those Nurse Jenn has written about. I wanted to reply to you to let you know we are listening. There will be others along to say hello and talk about their experiences.

I hope all goes well and please let us know when the baby is born. Only seven weeks to go. It's both exciting and exhausting at the same time.

Mary

kned · ‎26-03-2019

Thank you so much! This information is very helpful and I will definitely have a look at the websites/links you have suggested.

kned · ‎26-03-2019

Hi Mary,

Thank you for responding to my post, I truly appreciate it.

Wow 4 kids, thats lovely! I'm very excited about having our third. My children bring me so much joy.

I have been trying to figure out what I am most anxious about. I think it is general, but also possibly some specific reasons too (identity perhaps?). The general reasons are just managing my 2 kids needs and feeling like I am being a good mum to them, whilst also keeping up with the housework etc on top of feeling exhausted. I am no longer working (resigned) so that has been a huge change for me as my career was always a huge part of my identity. It was also an outlet from the kids who I adore, but it can get tiring being with them 24/7.

I have spoken to my husband who is really supportive. He wants to take some of the pressures away and is always happy to help with cleaning, washing etc. He also said if I need time-out that is fine, but I don't really know what else to do with myself! So I'm working on it.

White_Rose · ‎27-03-2019

Hello Kned

Children can be such a joy but when you are tired they seem to add another dimension to anxiety.

I think every decent parent worries they are not being a good parent. I know this plagued me especially as my children were born so close together. The eldest was in year one at school when the fourth was born. On the night I went into labour with the fourth I had to leave third child who had measles to be cared for my neighbour. I really felt bad about it but short of having the baby at home there was nothing I could do. My husband stayed with me for the birth.

It is a huge change to be a stay-at-home mom when you have been used to the energy and mental stimulation of being at work. I wanted some adult conversation at times, not baby talk. But the children grow up and life does get easier in the sense they can learn to do jobs for you such as making their beds, putting dirty clothes in the linen basket, picking up and putting away their toys. Unsure how old your children are but getting them to do these little things is good learning for them especially in how not to expect mom to do everything.

It almost sounds like heresy to admit you want time out from the children but it's very natural and reasonable. Dad gets his time out at work and comes home to a different world. You are there all the time. I wonder if it would help if your husband took on a couple of household tasks. Not just to help you out at times but to take on the responsibility of doing them. It means a little less for you to do and can really help to know these chores are being taken care of.

If you can identify the cause(s) of your anxiety I think it would be helpful. Being generally anxious is hard to manage as it feels as though you are always waiting for the next anxiety to pop up. However, Nurse Jenn's suggestions may help you.

By now you are seeing your doctor every couple of weeks. Have you discussed your tiredness with him/her? Now I think of it I was often tired and needed iron injections every week. Ask your doctor if he can suggest anything that will help. Do you sleep well? At this stage lying down can be uncomfortable and if baby gets restless and starts moving or kicking your sleep has gone. Can you nap during the day?

I find housework is an overrated activity. My house was always clean and reasonably tidy but I did not clean etc every day. My energy went into doing the washing and cooking meals. Anything else was a bonus.

Mary