Anger management for preteen

[mike9]

Hi, what is the best approach to anger issues for preteens (that has anxiety)?

I would appreciate suggestions from other parents that have managed to come up with strategies that work.

It is like a switch, can be happy but it does not take much to trigger the anger...

[smallwolf]

hi mike9,

while i have not had to the deal with my kids with anger management there are other situations I had to work through with them. In relation to anger management ... (I guess you know that) anger is a secondary emotion and protective measure for other feelings.

• Be there for your child
• Listen without judging or giving advice
• Expect rejection
• Try to work out what is behind the anger
• Be aware of anger warning signs and triggers

You did not mention in your post what form the anger took - is it anger, or aggression?

Once you can work where the anger comes from you can work out the what action to take to move forward. For myself helping your child to understand that you want to help and you can listen without being judgemental is key.

All the best,

Tim

[CyP]

Hey Mike9 ,

Welcome to forum.

Managing anger can be tricky .

When someone's angry or appear irritated, it can have an effect on others in an emotional way too.

One of the things to try perhaps, is to stay as calm or regulated as you can while being there for your child. By staying collected (eg calm downward inflection voice , simple words), you might be able to help tune down your child's emotions too.

Humans have these amazing mirror neurons that have the capacity to mimick/mirror others unconsciously. By modelling calmness, it might help de- escalating things.

I agree with Tim around listening and being non-judgemental , and anger has its function . Its important to help ourselves and your child to understand what the anger is doing, and what causes their frustration, and what is your child really trying to communicate?

I wonder if you can identify some sort of patterns around the potential triggers? E.g. Time of day/ Place/ people/task/ Sensitive topics)

Has there been changes in your household / events happened? What does his day look like in term of routine / predictability? Many things could affect one's emotions , perhaps starting with being aware and noticing patterns may help understand where the anger comes from...?

There's parentline if you wish to get some additional ideas too? 13 22 89

Headspace has a fact sheet and tips on anger
https://headspace.org.au/friends-and-family/understanding-anger-issues-in-children/
You might find some ideas there too?

I hope you and your child will find a way through this. Feel free to drop back in anytime for an update or comment .

Warm wishes,
CP