Am i in survival mode?

[BrokenHearted88]

I have been through a rollercoaster of emotions this last 7 months. From the traumatic birth of my first child late Jan to being in lockdown almost his entire life (Melbourne). As if being a first time mum isnt hard enough i have to do it on my own? Ive had no mothers group, no play groups, hes hardly even seen his grandparents. I havent been to a maternal child health nurse since he was 4 weeks old. Hes a terrible sleeper but i cant take him to sleep school or have a consultant come see us.

so essentially im a sleep deprived, social deprived, stimulant deprived mother wishing this nightmare would end.

We go for walks everyday, play in the house, facetime family, rinse and repeat...

i have a partner who is supportive but runs an events business so perpetually stressed due to the loss in business/ income so we are financially stretched to our limit as well.

i feel like im coping well but i have moments where i just snap. Im scared that im just pushing down the feelings to get us all through this and as soon as its over im going to crash and burn. Even though all i want is for it to be over.

any words of support or advice? Basically i want someone to tell me this will all be over soon and we can live our lives and see our family 😞

[Tay100]

Hi there BrokenHearted88

Welcome to the forums, we are glad that you found us. We are a caring, non-judgemental space where you can seek out advice and make connections with like-minded people. We hope you like it here!

You can use this thread to reach out to others and make connections that way-something different to Facetime, at least. What's great about this place is that you can speak with people who are also affected by anxiety/depression and even downright boredom and inertia that has worsened during the increasing isolation- you aren't alone in that.
I'm sad to hear that you would like more formal support with motherhood- we can help you find a more suitable mental health and maternity resource to help you with your sleep and coping with not seeing your family and parenting in general, as you say. That might help you deal with a number of things that have happened to you in 2020 in a healthy way moving forward, instead of crashing and burning, as you say. What do you think?

Sending kindness,
Tay100

[Petal22]

Hello,

I understand it must be hard in Melbourne being in lockdown and being a first time Mum would make it even harder..... you are doing a great job.... lockdown won’t last for ever it’s just a moment in time... things WILL get better....😊

Do you have any friends who have little ones? Maybe you could organise a Group FaceTime chat so you can feel connected and talk about baby things... 😊 your own online play group...

I’m sure there will be other people in Melbourne in the same situation as yourself, you are never alone... maybe you could start a new Facebook page for mums in Melbourne going through the same thing as you... you could all feel connected this way 😊

Things WILL get better... try to stay positive the rain will stop soon and the sun WILL come out again 😊

[BrokenHearted88]

Thank you for your reply and suggestions. Sorry its taken me so long to reply. I actually followed your advice yesterday and started a group for Melbourne mums in lockdown and ive already had 50 mums join!!!!

goes to show im certainly not the only one feeling this way. Im excited about this group. It makes me feel like a i have a purpose and can channel my energy into something positive xx

[Tay100]

Hi BrokenHearted88

Just thought I'd drop by and say it's great to hear that the mother's group is something that you are looking forward too, I wish you every success. And you are totally right- it will give you something purposeful and positive to focus on, which is a great bonus! Let us know how you go with it if you like 🙂

[Petal22]

Hello BrokenHearted88,

That’s great !! Well done 😊 I hope it all goes well for you.... it will be so nice for you to talk to other mums in the same situation 😊 yes it does you a positive purpose....send out your positivity 😊 well done 50 mums already joined that’s so great I’m sure it will be great.... love to hear how you are going with it all in the future... keep in touch 😊

[Petal22]

It does give you a positive purpose 😊

[BrokenHearted88]

So my new Facebook group has been a bit of a fail....it started well and lots of people joined but i put a post up on Monday following the soul-crushing announcement from the Premier and NOONE empathised with me.

the only responses i got was that they were feeling ‘positive’ and everything was all ‘lollipops and rainbows’. I mean, I understand the need for people to try and remain positive so they dont fall into a dark place but, come on!!!!

this supposed ‘roadmap’ out of restrictions is just a list of further restrictions and an impossible-to-meet set of requirements before we even come close to a sense of normal...

it will be December at the earliest before i see any of my family (or my baby sees his grandparents) because they live in regional Victoria and we have been set this impossible task to be at 0 for 14 days before we are allowed out of Melbourne. Its un-achievable ! Not even NZ has eliminated the virus!

so for everyone to be so bloody positive they are either lying or completely blind to the real situation. Its made me feel even more alone that noone else feels like i do. Is there something wrong with me for wanting a normal life? For wanting to see my family? For wanting my partner to go back to work?

i cant do this for much longer I actually want to relocate. I hate living here. I hate Victoria!

[Petal22]

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way brokenHearted.... you arnt alone in what you are going through.... I understand it would be hard in Victoria with the Lockdown.....

I think you started a great thing with your Facebook group.... maybe there are mums on there who haven’t spoken up about the way they feel.... it’s hard sometimes 😊

there is nothing wrong with you wanting a normal life.... you arn t alone....

maybe Tay100 can help you with a mental health and maternity resource as above...

hang in there 😊