Adjustment Disorder and Quit Job After 1 Week

[Nicole73]

Hi,

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I'm a newbie and feeling very lost, anxious and down at the moment. I will be making an appointment to see the GP but to be honest I get as much from hearing other peoples stories and knowing that I'm not alone. I don't really want to go back on medication as I find it doesn't do much for me, but I get more out of talking about my situation with people who understand.

About 3 months ago we moved 300klm (back to where I grew up) and I'm find adjusting WAY harder than I ever expected. I didn't know that an Adjustment Disorder even existed until I stumbled across the meaning of it lately and I feel this disorder was named after me. I'm extremely overwhelmed, I can't settle, my stomach is in constant knots, I don't want to leave the house or talk to anyone, I've lost my appetite, I cry at the drop of a hat...and I even quit my new job just 1 week after starting (to which I am highly embarrassed). I have always suffered from Anxiety but never had anything hit me quite this hard (again to which I am highly embarrassed). I seem to have lost all confidence and I'm actually scared to even apply for another job in case I find it is all too much again (I wish I could put on my application...'high anxiety sufferer on board but once settled will be the perfect employee'...lol). I am still applying as bills need to get paid, but I'm hoping that I might be able to get something casual or part time instead of full time hours. Although my husband is supportive, he doesn't know what to say or how to handle the situation and his advice is to drink more beer (said tongue in cheek as I don't really drink). He doesn't really mean this, but he just doesn't know what to say. Although I have a couple of good friends, I find it too hard and embarrassing to talk to them about it all in detail. I know I shouldn't, but I feel like I'm being a big waa-waa sook and need to toughen up. Plus I honestly don't feel people completely understand unless they have been through it. And although they listen, I feel like I'm being laughed at behind my back...ah, the joys of that anxiety showing it's ugly head again (I worry immensely of what others think. Worst still, I'm in my 40's and I still cry if someone says something horrible to me at work).

Anyhow, long story short...I was hoping that someone here may have been in a similar situation to mine and has came through the other end unscathed?

Thanks for reading.

Nicole.

[CoraC]

Hi Nicole

i was nodding at mañy points in your initial post.

I too have left a number of jobs due to awful anxiety. It's a really hard space to be in. After many bad experiences, I have drawn up a list of the things I think of as non negotiable in a job. For me that is:

- A job that isn't too stressful

- Supportive manager

- Team mates who work together and help one another

And reasonable hours

if I go into a job and it's not meeting my needs, I will stick it out for a certain amount of time but then make my next plan. (I've left a job after a week too.) I have personally found it helpful to ask to meet the team before I start a new job. This way you can often get a feel for the culture that you won't hear about in an interview.

wishing you all the best, Nicole

[Nicole73]

Hi CoraC,

Thanks for taking the time to leave a lovely message.

I love your non-negotiable job list and totally agree. I think too, if I could walk into an interview and say something like "Hi, I have anxiety but I am a bloody good employee if you give me a chance", I would feel great. This way, they know what they are getting...and I know that they have employed me knowing this...lol. But unfortunately with jobs being harder to get these days (at least with my skill level and age), instead I put on my brave face and do the best I can (and try not to think too much about my neck getting redder and hotter with embarrassment...hahahaha).

Have a wonderful day.

[Hppyf33t]

Hi Nicole,

how are things going for you?

I didn’t return to my job. I just couldn’t face it. I didn’t enjoy it like I enjoyed my previous one.

As the days drew closer to going back the more my anxiety levels went up. So I decided that it was best not to return. I feel relieved about not going back but now I’m stressing about finding another job. It’s a vicious circle.

I also took myself on a week away from here and went and visited family.

In the mean time I’m going to be focusing on me and getting myself out of this awful headspace. I’m going to start going walking again with a friend and join a gym.

I forward to hearing how thing are going for you.

H@ppyf33t

[Nicole73]

Hi H@ppyf33t,

Nice to hear from you. Firstly can I say how great it is that you have decided to start going for walks again and also join the gym. I am going to start walking again as well (for weight loss and because it is good for stress and anxiety).

With regards to not returning to your work, I fully understand. I bet it feels like a whole weight literally being lifted off your shoulders. But I also understand about now stressing about finding another job (I do this too...hahaha). As you say, it is a vicious circle. I have decided that I am still going to be actively searching for a job, but I will try and pick and choose a little more carefully this time. I'm really going to try and find something that is part time or casual and a job that isn't too stressful (fingers crossed). Not sure if I will find that perfect job or not, but I will be trying hard. I've been thinking of some places that I think I would like to work at and going to drop my resume in next week. I'm going to try and be a little more proactive rather than waiting for the job to come knocking at the door (along with a million other people that will then be applying). Doing this, I will also feel a little more in control (if that makes sense). Hopefully you can do the same - find something that suits you better and one that you think you will be able to do without suffering too bad from anxiety.

That was nice that you have been away and visited the family. I hope that your batteries feel a little more charged now and you can embrace life a little more head on...even if just one step at a time.

Have a great day and thanks for reporting back how you went.

Nicole.