Absolute Panic Driving

[Jaxdino]

Hi there, first time here, thanks for reading!

i have dealt with generalised anxiety and panic disorder since my mid twenties, I am now 41! Most situations I can handle, I know my triggers, and I work through my state of mind to get to the other side. Socially and professionally I am pretty much ok which I am proud of.

however in my earlier days I had some massive panic attacks whilst driving on motorways with speed limits at around 100-110 and also on crossing a large bridge around the same speed limit. I have never ever been able to get over this. Which means I avoid it completely. I have avoided social weekends away with good friends family and our children because I simply cannot face the drive. Unless my husband is there to drive I cannot go... he understands why, and is very supportive however there are times when he is working and I could be taking our children away with friends and family but I cannot face the demon... what do I do? The guilt I feel and the shame is horrendous. Not to mention the embarrassment when it is simply just driving! The panic that overcomes me is terrifying as all of you would know who have experienced full blown panic attacks. I feel out of control and cannot focus, shaking, sweating, heart pounding, losing peripheral vision. Again something I would not want to experience with my children in the car and put them at risk... where to from here after so many years of fear with long distance high speed driving? Any tips, help etc would be greatly appreciated. Thanks x

[Betternow]

Dear Jaxdino

it could be me writing this post. My panic tendencies first appeared 36 years while I was struck in traffic on a bridge. From there it followed me onto motorways, busy intersections especially where you could be caught at a red light, with a bus behind you and a truck in front. Not pleasant at all.

I fully understand the distress and embarrassment of how these annoying panic symptoms interfere with the quality of your life. The problem is by avoiding the situations we train our brain to become even more fearful of driving in traffic, over bridges etc.

The goods news is that I was able to tame it.

I gradually exposed myself to what I was afraid of by deliberately putting myself in the situation I was running away from. Over time I was able to increase the severity of the situations but only when I felt comfortable with the previous situation.

Secondly, I was taught to accept that my panic feelings were nothing to be ashamed of and in fact I should welcome them because it proved I was doing the therapy correctly. It changed my whole attitude of how I viewed panic. I know it sounds too simple to be true but it worked for me because I was just sick of this ridiculous panic ruining my life.

I suggest you find a mental health professional who can work with you. Perhaps exposure is not meant for you but only a qualified person can make that assessment. Good luck.

[BreeFree90]

Hi Jaxdino,

I hope your day is going well.

I understand your situation well. While I don't have the same sort of responses while driving like you do I avoid going places and doing things simply because I'm anxious about driving and even parking. Heck! I urgently need to get an allergy patch test done, but I can bring myself to drive to Carlton and so I'm yet to make an appointment. Like you, I find it embarrassing too and often have my fiance take me places.

Betternow touched on a good solution which has been recommended to me by my psychologist, gradual exposure. He gave me the task of parking in three carparks within the two week period between appointments. Carparks make me very anxious and while I wasn't keen on his idea the alternative is that nothing ever changes and I think that's worse.

Seeing a psychologist who can help tailor some strategies with you would be a great idea, otherwise set yourself small driving goals and allow yourself the chance to build your confidence. Remember that everything you feel and experience while driving is okay, but you're in control and those negative thoughts are simply passengers which you can acknowledge and let go. Also, at traffic lights touch base with yourself, as I tend to find myself gripping the steering wheel too tightly or my jaw is clenched. Let yourself relax for a moment.

I know it won't be easy, but I know both of us can do it!

Stay positive!

Bree

[CourtneyJ]

Oh Jaxdino I TOTALLY relate!!!

For the first 18 months of having my license I didn't drive on highways at all (terrified of merging and getting squashed by a truck in my little 2 door). The only reason I started is because one day I had to drive to a specific location for work and my fear of disappointing my boss overrode my fear of getting in a crash. That was 10 years ago.

10 years later I'm still anxious when driving.

- I will wake up at 4am to drive somewhere far away to ensure I'm driving with the least number of other people on the road

- I don't drive during peak hour if I can avoid it (too many cars)

- I will not reverse. I will do everything possible to avoid it even if it's total ludicrious

- I will not park between two cars and if there's an option further away that has spare spaces on either side.

- Merging onto highways still terrifies me

- When I do drive long distances when I actually get to my destination I'm left mentally and physically exhausted from the tense state I was in the entire way.

- Oh and don't even get me started on how scared I am of getting a speeding ticket that I can't afford to pay...

What helps me is remembering that other drivers on the road don't want to get into accidents either. So they will do their best to avoid an accident (and so will I). Also that the benefits of being able to have the independence to drive outweighs the fear.

Good luck to you!

Courtney