The recovery process

[arania]

Hello, i have never really done anything like this before but i dont know where else to turn so here goes.I am a 21 year old girl and for a long time i suffered from agoraphobia, i wouldn't leave my house ever! this lasted at least 3 years, i felt like i was stuck, like i would never be normal but then one day after a conversation with my little sister i decided to go for a walk, i went to the local shops and bought some milk, i know, its not a big deal to many people but to me it was huge! it was the beginning of my recovery. i will never forget the first glass of milk i poured from that bottle, or the look on my dads face when i finally convinced him that it was me that went and got it! after that things started to get better, i cleaned up my life, i searched for a job and one place said i could do work experience, i kept going back there for three months and they finally gave me a job, that was three years ago, i kept that job up until a few months ago when i moved closer to home,i am in a much better place than i was when i was 18, but i'm still not okay, people say time heals things but i just don't feel like i'm doing much healing. sometimes i call in sick to work because i'm too scared to face the world. my body and mind are still recovering from the past but after three years shouldn't i feel better? i just want to know how long this will take, will i ever feel independent? i'm 21 i'm an adult, but i feel like such a child. does anyone else feel this way? I was so scared of growing up that i didn't even realize it happened, and now im scared of everyone noticing how broken i really am.

[Zeal]

Hey arania,

It can really feel as though you are expected to achieve certain things by a particular stage of life. That can be due to the influence of media, of peers, and also of us as individuals being hard on ourselves.

You really do show incredible care to your friends! Helping others to stop using drugs is amazing - I imagine that would have been a huge challenge. Hopefully you can use these compassionate people-skills in your next job role. I would like to be a Counsellor in the future. Last week I finished studying undergraduate psychology at uni, and I haven't yet found out whether I have been accepted into the postgraduate counselling program for next year.

My only ever paid job was at 18 in retail, and I was laid off after several months. My boss was nice about it and was apologetic. She said I wasn't assertive/confident enough to continue the position. I've been babysitting since 18, but that is just casual 'pocket-money'. I started volunteering two years ago, at 21, which was the best decision. It helped with my sense of self-worth. It's fantastic that you raised all that money for your friend's charity, and that the acts of kindness you perform are personally uplifting.

I am fortunate to live with my parents and sister, though I would like to move out with my boyfriend in a year or two. He's 25 and is still living at home for convenience. He cooks and is perfectly capable of being independent, but has remained home because he is still studying. Thankfully he is close to his family. He helps his Mum a lot with chores.

Thanks again for your post!

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Guest_322]

Hi Arania,

It's awesome to hear from you again 😊

Wow, raising funds for your friend's charity was/is quite the feat! Without fundraisers, charities wouldn't be able to function. Well done!

I agree with Zeal that helping your friend who was struggling with drug use reflects a caring nature. Moreover, you have personal experience using drugs so not only did your support come from a place of compassion, it also came from genuine understanding. Your friend was/is lucky to have you.

I'm glad Sconnor (Sara), Zeal and James responded. They all offered a slightly different angle and that's always a good thing 😊 I think your thread particularly struck a chord with Zeal and I'm glad the 2 of you could relate on multiple levels. It's always very validating and encouraging when you find that connection on the forums.

Take care. You're doing some incredible stuff, Arania 😊

Dottie x