Situation regarding a girl I'm interested in is really getting me down

[DGItlu]

Hey guys, not sure if this is the right place. I have a dilemma regarding a girl whom I like. The trouble is, she is very hard to read. I've even asked mutual friends if this girl may like me, and even they have conceded too that she is hard to read. I believe I'm getting some indicators of interest from her, but they have been very inconsistent, and this lack of closure is really getting me down. I'm 22 by the way. The girl in question is somewhat introverted and quiet. She's also implied and mentioned on numerous occasions that she has a bad ex.

I want to ask her out, but the dilemma is the fact that we are involved in running a Uni club together, and I don't want to create any awkwardness by asking her out if it doesn't turn out that the feeling's mutual.

INDICATORS OF POSSIBLE INTEREST

She almost always sits or stands next to me or near me, if we are within a group of friends.

She is often a lot more quiet (or shyer?) towards me then she is towards other people in our group. I think I've seen her glancing at me and blushing around me too.

When I ask her questions - she'll often give longer answers then is necessary to answer them. For ex; if we encounter one of her friends, although she won't introduce me to that friend, I can ask her who the friend's name was, and she'll give me a mini-life story on them, speaking in a faster tone of voice than usual.

I can purposefully touch her during conversation, she doesn't seem to mind or be grossed out by it. Though this is never reciprocated.

I can safely stand within her personal space without her moving away from me. A bit of accidental touching goes on too.

THINGS THAT ARE CONFUSING:

When a mutual friend recently asked her if she was interested in anyone, she responded by saying she wasn't interested in anyone. But when the mutual friend suggested that she may be interested in me, and I in her, she basically avoided giving an outright yes or no answer, responding with just 'hahaha :p'.

She blocked me on her Instagram at some stage (don't know exactly when or why - just randomly went to follow her recently only to discover I was blocked by her), and never likes or comments on anything I post on Facebook (she likes/comments on stuff her friends post). I know I should probably be taking this with a rather large grain of salt - but it's getting to me for some reason. She is always responsive when we message on Facebook though.

What can I make of this situation? Should I ask her out?

[CallumG]

Hi Mate,

 I really related to your current situation, and have found myself continuously questioning it just as it seems you are.  My experience has taught me to keep it simple.  A very close friend of mine always tells me "the things I've regretted the most in life haven't been the things that I have done, they have been the things that I haven't done" and this may help you here.

Why not ask her to hang out, outside of the uni club that you run, it doesn't necessarily have to be a date?  I mean whats the harm in a guy and a girl having coffee or a meal together?  Then take it from there.

 Everyone is different I believe, so everyone will probably give you a different answer to your question based on their own personal experiences.  So go with YOUR gut feeling and see how you go.  Life is a journey and it is all about learning, take the action and learn from the experience.  

I hope this helps you out and I am interested to see how you go.

Callum.

[geoff]

dear DG, oh the thought of being in love again, how magical this feeling is, but on the flip side it can be very frustrating and questionable.

It reminds me of picking up a daisy and pulling each petal out one by one saying 'she loves she loves me not'.

Don't worry if she doesn't reciprocate when you touch her, because having physical contact is one of the strongest body language's, plus her wanting to stand next to you, so google 'body language' and read up on all the positive and negative signs.

Facebook can do more harm than good, by all means keep reading it if you want to, but what people post on it can be taken as a grain of salt, and personally what people can say at times will lead your imagination into believing.

I do have facebook however I am not particularly in favour of it, but if you and her can communicate positively then that's another bonus.

It's so hard when you stand next to her, your heart beats a million miles an hour, you become sweaty and have a dry mouth, and to ask her out is on the tip of your tongue, and don't worry it still happens when you get much older.

There's a very strong word here and it's called 'instinct', not only now but also in times to come, and none of us will ever find it easy when we are denied a date from the person we love.

Can I just give a suggestion, we all want it to happen now, to ask someone out, because when you're in love  we have no patience, but what have you got to lose, and if she says no there will be many other young ladies you will feel exactly the same about. Geoff.

[lavieenrose]

Heya' pal,

I understand your situation all too well, I too run a uni club and am 23 and indeed have a pretty hard "crush" on a girl in the er...vicinity. 

I think the only way to know is to ask, the old saying "ask and you shall receive" rings true here.

Don't paralyze yourself with indecision (like I have), sometimes you have to take a chance and be ready for the consequences, that's life I'm afraid. Start simple 🙂 pizza with her, a movie? There aren't any rules to how it works, no awkwardness should arise from two friends hanging out. Be careful though, you are right to be concerned about problems arising within the club if things go haywire because I know the uni's student associations can beat down pretty hard on dysfunctional clubs. 

I hope it goes well though!

[DGItlu]

Hey everyone. A little tardy in replying but thank you for your input.

I actually talked to a mutual friend about some more of the stuff I mentioned in the original post, and they suggested that perhaps she's a bit shy and doesn't want it to be awkward. Not sure what exactly to make of this, but perhaps she does like me, but isn't sure if I feel same the way about her, so she doesn't want things to be awkward for the exact same reason as I don't, as mentioned above? Perhaps she's thinking back to her last relationship and the negative experiences that led to that ending?

In any case - I'm thinking I will ask her out. I am hopeful that she'll be attending an event that I'm attending this weekend (because I'd be with her one-one-one for it), but she has stated that she has assignments due, so may not be able to attend that event. 

There is also another function later next week that she'll be at - however a whole lot of our mutual friends (including the one I've been talking to about this girl) will be there as well. In this particular situation (assuming I'm unable to ask her on the weekend), asking her out directly could put her on the spot especially when in front of our friends; if I asked her talk in private, it could put her on the spot too - especially if she herself, as our mutual friend suggested, is being shy about it all and is worried about creating awkwardness. 

Texting her or messaging her on Facebook to ask her out is a no-go. Too impersonal for a start and arguably makes it easier for her to not respond at all or say no, even if there is interest there (blew a past interest by asking her out via text and am determined not to do it again with this one).

I just feel that it has to happen naturally and in person, one-on-one, even if I suggesr an activity casually and I'm kind of at the stage that I want to know if she is interested or not. How could I go about asking her at the other function later next week if I can't do so at this event on the weekend?