Pressure

[Alyssashby]

Hey,

I'm new here so I'm not really sure how this works, but I thought I'd try it. I don't know what to do a lot of the time. I  haven't been diagnosed with depression so sometimes I'm worried that I'm over reacting. But the things is, all the pressure builds up, and there are days when its hard to summon the strength to smile through it.

The worst part is my parents. Every conversation we have turns into a lecture about me not thinking of others, not doing enough exercise, not trying enough at school. These topics are brought up no matter how the conversation begins. I can't talk to my friends either, sometimes they pressure me too...

I'm not really sure what to do anymore. Every time I try to talk to my parents, or try to summon up the courage to talk to someone - anyone; fear of judgement and failure stop me. Whether its from my parents telling me that I'll be fine, I'm being dramatic, I'm not listening to them properly, or whether its just the idea that, if I do talk to them about it, they won't look at me the same. I don't want pity, just understanding. 

Sometimes, when the pressure gets too much at home I end up fighting with my family, and every time I try to explain how I'm feeling I'm shut down. I don't let myself do that at school. There, I hold on the shreds that people can believe that I'm okay, because I'm afraid that I'm not. 

What should I do? I don't have anyone to turn to, not that I really trust. 

[Narniakid]

Hey Alyssashby, welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

It sounds like your parents don't understand or know enough about mental illness in order to recognise it in you. Have you tried sitting them down and telling them that it's more than just a bad day? That it is affecting your wellbeing and performance at school? 

I would firstly suggest asking your school about what kind of councelling and support they offer. I'm quite sure that most schools offer some sort of support system for students going through a tough time, but it can vary. There are also special provisions avaliable to you with a medical certificate, and they include extra time on exams and assignments, and sitting away from others in an exam so you can consentrate better. 

The other option is to see your GP for a professional diagnosis, discuss treatment options and a referral to a psychologist, however you'll need a parent with you if you're under 18. This is the option that I took when I was in your position, and it has paid off, and I've been able to make almost a full recovery.

Remember that anxiety thrives on avoidance and negative thoughts are just reactions to fear. Talk to your parents a little more and perhaps show them the recourses here on the website to help them understand depression and anxiety, because unfortunately, mental illness does not discriminate.

Crystal