partner in the army and when he leaves i get so depressed. someone help me please.

[Militarygirlfriend]

My partner is constantly away for his job and the minimum duration is usually 3 weeks but most of them are 2 months. Every time he leaves me I try to stay occupied but it never lasts. He is currently away atm and I feel like I'm dying inside. I haven't been able to text or call him for about 2 weeks. I'm so lonely inside and my normal home life doesn't continue when he is away. I can't sleep at night, I don't leave my house unless it's work. I'm so exhausted by feeling this way all the time but I don't want to ask him to ruin his future career for me to stay back in our home town. I love him so so much but the pain is unbearable and I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life with him feeling this way all the time when he leaves. What should I do? How do I stop this feeling? someone, please help me im so desperate for some help.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm ex RAAF, also spent many years as a civilian security guard and control room operator on army bases.

In effect you are also making a sacrifice to this country. You said you try to keep yourself busy, perhaps not budy enough. I mean that in a nive way.

If you had 3 children you'd be busy enough. Maybe a gym, involve yourself with local sports or volunteer work?

A lot of Army wives/gf work. Is that an option?

Im sure he appreciates you struggles wjile he's away.

TonyWK

[Happygoluckymiss]

Hi militarygirlfriend

thank you for sharing your feelings. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

I would like to also say a big thank you to your partner & yourself for their service to our beautiful country.

I am navigating my new normal at the moment where I am single for the first time in about 12 years & you know what’s similar is that almost high or elation of just receiving a text to say they’re ok? Or just to hear their voice. I know the circumstances are very different, but I understand the loneliness, the wanting to talk to them just to say hi. That human connection. I have found that by writing my feelings down as I find it difficult to speak about emotions a huge relief.

This has really helped me confront my feelings, acknowledge my feelings and learn to accept how I feel.

I would also maybe suggest that you speak with gp and look at a mental health care plan where you may be able to talk through strategies to help with the loneliness. Everyone is very different and what works for some will not for others.

You have have the right thing by reaching out to others on this forum and asking for help.

Some other things that help me:

- watching tv

- listening to music

- walking

I welcome you and again thank you for sharing.

Xo happygoluckymiss

[Militarygirlfriend]

Hi There, Tony, We aren't quite ready for children but someday will be. I do work, I work nearly every day I also make scrapbooks, poems, and stories to help make the time pass. I've recently started at the gym too. The day's aren't as bad as the nights that's when I feel at my worst. Do you have any suggestions for night time?

And me and this country are so grateful and appreciate your service and sacrifices.

Thankyou for your help.

[Militarygirlfriend]

Thank you for your reply I'm so grateful for it. I'm so sorry to hear that you feel the same way. I too keep a journal of some kind, one is personal and one is like a notebook of things that I would say to my partner while he is a way for him to read when he gets back. But doing these things just don't seem to be enough. I will consider talking to a GP thankyou for your help.

[white knight]

Hi mgf

Thankyou

Well, wondering if you can locate a few other gf's and wives that need the same company from the same unit?

re:nighttime - I had a hobby of model airplanes. What that provided me was a hobby I immersed myself into so much, time flew and by midnight I was so tired I thought of nothing when my head hit the pillow.

Whatever hobby you select, it mmust be a passion so you dont lode interest. Another thing I tried was building dolls houses with furniture. Jigsaws, suduku, crosswords, scrap books, making your own birthday cards, paint by numbers, crochet, photography....

I hope you find your niche. It's a tough gig the Army life, for everyone.

TonyWK