My Friend

[dotplot]

Hello I am lost on what I should do...

My friend which moved to our school around 2 years ago now, has recently told me he has depression. Before he moved he used to get heavily bullied to extreme measures. However due to his past, wont do anything about his situation, stating things as he can deal with it himself and that we should just 'drop it'. I'm very worried about him though as he does not get help and is shutting people away (Mainly parents) and although I don't pressure him into telling me (I know that can make things worse), refuses to tell me if things are wrong (Although its obvious; won't talk to me, slouched, doesn't do work etc.) I have suggested he talks to someone about it and reach out for help, but still he refuses help. Recently I have found out he has had thoughts of suicide, having trouble getting out of bed and just overall energy.

Should I get help for him? Should I just make an appointment with someone and tell him to go with me? Due to our location the only available services are school guidance counsellor, doctors and the principle of the school.

I am honestly lost and worried...

Thank you.

[Chris_B]

Hi dotplot,

Welcome to the forums.  You're being a great friend by coming here and asking for support.  

Depression and bullying are big issues to deal with, and it sounds like your friend is quite distressed, particularly the thoughts of suicide you mention.  

There are some tips on our youth website about how to seek help for a friend:  http://www.youthbeyondblue.com/help-someone-else/

The four steps are:

1. Look for the signs of depression.

2. Listen to your friend's experience

3. Talk about what's going on

4. Seek help together

You've already done steps 1-3, which is great.

Suggest to your friend that you make an appointment to see the school counsellor together.

If he refuses help, it would be a good idea for you to speak to the school counsellor - this is so you can get support for yourself as these are issues too big to deal with on your own, and also so you can tell the counsellor that your friends has expressed thoughts of suicide.  It is very important that you do this.  

You may feel that this is being a bad friend, but it is the exact opposite.  This is the best way you can help at this stage.  

Please let us know how you get on.  If you need to talk to someone on the phone at any stage, please give our support service a call on 1300 22 4636.

Take care.

best
CB

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Online Community Manager