Looking for advice

[I_need_help]

Hey everyone,

This is the first time I have logged on to my account since I was 14. I'm 16 now.

I want to mainly focus on how I've been feeling in the last few months. I went through this when I was 14 and it has started to come back again.

I'm naturally a really happy person and I hate being sad because that isn't who I am. I'm scared that I haven't been myself for a few months and it is a lot more serious this time.

im really close with my mum and I try and talk to her about it but I feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I don't want her to blame me being sad on herself. She has a lot going on too and I don't want to be a burden on her and the rest of my family.

Recently at school I had an anxiety attack and an ambulance was called. I was so scared.

I see my school counsellor a lot but it doesn't help and I feel so helpless that nothing I try and do helps me.

i can't sleep at night and struggle to concentrate at school, my grades are dropping and I've just moved to a new school. I feel like such a disappointment considering I got in for my academics.

this is so much more serious than last time and I'm not sure if 'talking to my school counsellor' is going to be enough. 😞

[Doolhof]

Hi I need Help,

Welcome back to the community here. We have some great younger people here on the forums who can well understand and sympathise with all that you are going through in this new world we live in now.

I am a bit of an old duck, almost 52 but I do remember what depression was like as a young person.

I'm sorry to read how much you are struggling right now. It is a great thing you have stepped out and expressed your need for help.

Keep communication open with your Mum, maybe even show her your message here, it will help her to better understand how you are feeling.

Ask the school counsellor if he/she can offer other suggestions for where you can receive help in your area.

You can use the phone help line here at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 to talk to someone.

Are you currently seeing a Dr as well? When you went to hospital after the anxiety attack was there any follow up?

What kind of things do you like doing? What music do you like to listen to? Do you have interests you can become more involved in? How do you spend your free time? How can you make that time more happier for you?

Lots of questions and suggestions hey! I just hope that something here will help you.

Keep reaching out to people. Write what you need to here and check out some of the other advice and suggestions given to young people on other threads.

Hope your day is a little brighter!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[I_need_help]

Hi! Thankyou for replying, I try and keep my communication open with mum a lot but I feel like when I tell her I'm sad or anxious she does the wrong things to try and fix it.

im not currently seeing a doctor but last time I went to hospital they did heaps of scans (because I have low blood pressure and pass out a lot so they thought it was that). But nothing really was really followed up with after that 😞

i used to play sport for my state and I've been playing guitar and singing for 8 years but unfortunately I've stopped all of that now. I just go to school and work on weekends. I don't have much time for anything else 😞

[Doolhof]

Hi Again,

When you speak with your Mum do you tell her how she might be able to help you as you mentioned she does not help in the way you need or expect.

I find it really hard for someone to help me unless I explain to them what it is that I need. Sometimes I just don't know what I need anyway so have no way of explaining that to anyone.

Could you write down a few things that you think might help you and then consider how your Mum or others could provide that support? At times I just have to accept that other people have no way of understanding how I am feeling, so try to acknowledge their help and realise they may not have the answers.

How would it make you feel if you were to pick up your guitar and play for just half an hour? Or to go for a walk or a jog.

I know it is not always easy, sometimes we need to give ourselves a nudge or a darn good push to do the things we know would help.

Maybe seeing another Dr might help. They could offer you some advice and maybe give you a general check up as well. Do you need to be checked for low blood pressure regularly?

Today I am catching up with a friend for dinner and will be picking up some photos. I don't really feel like getting in the car and driving to t these places, but I know I will appreciate the photos when I see them and will enjoy myself at my friend's place. I just need to do these things.

Hope all went okay at school. What are your favourite subjects?

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[I_need_help]

Hi again!

I do try and explain to mum what I need but sometimes I feel guilty because she has enough going on with work and multitasking constantly with the rest of my family. I feel like I would be putting a lot of stress on her and I'm not sure I would know what to say.

i might try getting into guitar again, and going for a walk when I have time sounds good. Thanks so much for the advice

from Mia 🙂

[Doolhof]

Hi Mia,

It is very considerate of you to be thinking of your Mum and her issues as well. Maybe you could sit down with your Mum and offer to listen to some of her concerns as well and share your own problems with her. Sometimes it helps just chatting about how you feel.

Picking up your guitar might be comforting to you. I generally feel better when I make time to do something that enjoy.

My visit with my girlfriend went well. She had a few issues to chat about, so I listened to her. We had a good laugh as well, so it was a lovely evening.

Exercise is good for us all. So is just being outside for some people. Today I was feeling a little flat, so I went and had a walk in the garden. We have 5 acres, so I enjoyed strolling around looking at everything.

Could you sit down and watch a DVD with your Mum. Sometimes just being together is a bonus as well.

Do you have plans for the weekend? We have been invited to a friend's son's 18th Birthday.

Cheerio, from Mrs. Dools

[I_need_help]

Yeah I'm thinking about trying to talk to mum again.

And that sounds super good! Thanks for the advice, and I'm working Saturday and Sunday 🙂

[Doolhof]

Hi Mia,

Hope all went well at work on the weekend.

Do you find that between you and your Mum and everything else happening in life, that it is hard to find a time to connect?

Is it possible to make a date with your Mum. I do that sometimes with my husband. Sounds weird, but life can be busy and our minds can be full of so much stuff, we need to set aside a time to just chat.

Even if you just sit at the kitchen table with your phones in your handbags for half an hour.

I have been known to email my husband as well when we are both busy! That works too, especially if you want the other person to know something, but don't know how to say it face to face. It doesn't have to anything negative, it is a great way to share positivity as well.

Is there an opportunity to go for a 1/2 hr walk with your Mum even once a week for a chat and catch up?

We don't know what will work until we try different things. If it doesn't go to plan at some stage, then try again.

Wishing you all the best with this. Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools