Loneliness at School

[SanadaY]

I'm a Singaporean living in Australia. However, I am unable to connect to anyone. I may have autism because I always appear as cold and I can't sustain a conversation with peers. I'll have to resume school tomorrow and I really don't want to. Due to being unable to connect with anyone, I play myself as 'the joker' to have a place in the school. I hate this role but I don't know what to do. Everyone dislikes me and I feel bad to even show my face at school anymore. Even teachers dislike me. I have to friends who I can't really connect with but I don't want to abandon. No-one seems to share my interests and I've never felt so alone. Everyone scorns me and I just feel isolated and miserable. What's worse is that I haven't shared this with anyone and my parents keep on scolding me for being disengaged with school. Yet I feel I can't tell them because I'd get into trouble for misbehaving. I facade a 'I don't care' attitude with my friends and they keep on saying that my personality is bad. It isn't my real one but I don't know how to show it. What should I do this year?

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hello SanadaY,

Welcome to the forum. I wonder how school went for you today? I am sorry to hear that you are feeling disconnected at school and are playing a part to fit in. This would be exhausting to do and feeling isolated would be lonely. I am sorry you are going through this. I am hopeful that you went to school today and felt a connection with someone and that some of these feelings were resolved? Please feel free to share your day on the forum if you feel comfortable. You are not alone.

Adjusting to a new culture and a new school can take some time. I wonder how long you have been in Australia? I also wonder if you felt a connection to anyone such as a teacher or a different family member? Sometimes finding someone to tell about how you feel can be a huge relief. Another thing to consider is that if you ask your parents for a' talk' and maybe write down a few keys things you want to express to them and ask them for their attention, you may find they have open ears to your worries and sadness.

If you don't have someone you can talk to that you know, I might suggest you contact either a local headspace centre and drop in for an appointment. You can find out if there is a centre near you....https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/

An alternative to this is to use eheadspace which you can read about here https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/

Another option is to visit a Doctor (GP) where you can make an appointment and talk about what your are going through or even your school counsellor who may try to help you find some new social pathways at your school you haven't considered. Sometimes getting another persons perceptive can be really helpful.

In any case, you have taken the first step by reaching out on to the forum which is awesome. You will find there are many people here going through similar experiences. We are here and we are listening. I really hope you feel safe today.

Nurse Jenn