I hate my disability...

[Meki]

I wear hearing-aids. So older bullies like making jokes about them and saying things I can't here and then laughing about it. I've had hearing-aids since I was in prep, which by now, would be almost eight years ago. I have had the bullying for years. Teasing, threats, rude comments and gestures- you name it. I've had it all. I want it to stop. Year nine/eight kids are picking on me and half of them I have never met! High school sucks. I am having nightmares and I am failing my grades. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was on reachout.com and they kicked me out because they thought the posts would frighten me because I'm 13, not 14 (you have to be 14 to subscribe). Kids Help Line has been talking to me for months but it can take more than a week to get a reply from them. I just want to talk in a open and relaxed environment. I have talked to principles, teachers, counselors and chaplains. Half of them don't believe me or don't want to do a thing about it. I have had bullying worse than this- sexual assault/harassment. The hearing-aids are annoying me but I have to wear them to school or I can't hear most of what people say to me. How can I sort this all out?

[white knight]

Hi Meki, welcome

Im glad you're here, it took guts and desperation.

Lets look at the range of possibilities to stop this problem

- action by teachers and the principle (unlikely effective)

- remove the aides (not an option)

- home schooling?

- mental resistance?

Home schooling, you'll need to chat with your parents.

Mental resistanve is effectively shutting out the bullies like they dont exist. Imagine you have a gate and you lock out the ones that are bullies, you let in the the good people.

This takes practice. Try it. Because throughout life these bullies will come and go. So why not try to hone your skills now?.

Please google the following threads.

Topic: bullying- beyondblue

Topic : so what are their mental illnesses?- beyondblue

Topic: tolerating people water off a ducks back- beyondblue

Thanks for posting.

Tony WK

[demonblaster]

Meki Hi, people esp young can be so nasty, they're not thinking how it must be for you. It'd be terrible not to be able to hear well.
Not everyone's nasty there's truly a lot of good people around too, sorry for you being hassled.

What abot asking if you could talk to the class, speak from your heart or read what you've written here.
I'm a strong believer in people need to know what others are going through. Potentially generate more understanding and support.

Good you've talked to so many but clearly so far no changes. If people know at least some may back off and more be decent to you like it should be

Hope you let us know how you go

[Croix]

Dear Meki~

Welcome here, as you will find it is an open and relaxed environment. You can say whatever you wish and will not be judged or put off, but taken seriously. I'm sorry things have gotten this bad, it really should not happen, but sadly it does, all too often.

You did say you did not know what was wrong with you, well from what you have said I would think it is the silly cruel bullying children who have something wrong with them. Juvenile and insecure, having to live a tribal life and needing someone to pick on just to feel part of a group.

Your nightmares and problems with your work sound like a reaction to these harsh experiences, not unexpected. After all it hurts, is frustrating, can make you both angry and frightened at the same time.

You have talked about school officials, principals and so on. You did not mention your parents. Of anyone else in your family. Have you spoken to them about this, it sounds like it has been a problem for a long time, what have they been doing?

While we are at it can I ask what is being done about those nightmares?

Stopping bullying is not easy most times, and so I agree there may be some that duck the issue, either too hard, or bad for the school's reputation, or worry that it will rebound harder on the person being bullied if a complaint is made known.

So I guess you need two things. A person who is on your side and is prepared to go to bat for you with the school and also a concrete list of occasions when you were bullied. Something for them to work with. Maybe your parents might be the ones to fight for you. Perhaps you can keep a record of date, time, place, what happened and who was there.

We are not able to give a quick fix, which is frustrating for you

OK I've said a bit, what do you think?

Croix

[Keira]

Hi Meki. I have also dealt with bullies and I know how hard it is but I'm sure you realise by now that all they want from you is a reaction. They want to make you upset because they have nothing better to do than make themselves feel good by bullying you. Deep down they probably are terrified of life. They have no idea where they are going so they distract themselves by being stupid. Don't worry, They will get what's coming to them. Just be the better person, be strong and be positive. Don't get angry or upset by bullies. Feel sorry for them because they're obviously unhappy in themselves. 

[jc2000]

Hi Meki,

My name is Julia, I'm 17 and I remember those awful days of early high school. Although I don't have a disability, I got teased plenty of times (obviously not to the degree that you've been put to, my experiences don't even compare), I am so sorry that you have been put through this, especially so young.

when I finished year 4 my parents took me out of a co-ed school and put me into an all girls school because (as they put it) "boys are distracting". Little did i realise that boys are both distracting, and can be truly awful. At your age boys are still laughing at inappropriate words and don't quite have the ability to realise that what they say and what they do will affect people. I know that this is no consolation, but maybe it'll help you realise that you are above this.

I have to say that I agree with your parents with the whole "no boyfriends" policy, during high school it's really not worth it, and I say this from experience; boys can be a waste of time and a waste of energy. Sure, if they're really nice and kind to you (without dating multiple people at the same time) keep them around, but maybe as a friend? I've seen so many of my friends date boys and end up so stressed worrying about trying to spend time with them and trying to spend time on study and time on their friends and family, it's honestly not worth the drama.

To deal with the people bullying you, the best advice I can give is to stay strong, put up a front that shows that it doesn't bother you (even if it does), but do not retaliate (it will almost certainly make the situation worse).

I hope that what I've said helps at all, and I hope to hear from you soon,

Julia

PS boys are not worth the drama, you're beautiful on your own xx

[Gentledragon]

Dear meki i have a hearing loss also and struggled at school not with the work, but not fitting in easily, make your own friends you dont need many , try to ignore bullies, be polite but dont give the reaction and attention that feeds their egos, being deaf is a tough disability for others to understand because like mental illnesses there is no obvious thing wrong. Theres nothing wrong with you just focus on what you want to do and ask for help if you need it, put your energy towards things that will do you good