HI,
it sometimes feel that everything is too much, because that issue is right in your face. Year 12 is an over-the-top stressful period. You have stated a few things going on here:
A very stressful year (year 12) following the God Awful mess of Covid lockdowns;
An unhealthy lifestyle that involves caffinee, alcohol and Vapes;
Feeling overwhelmed and previously suicidal (but had support).
The Beyond Blue team will definately help with depression and support. I myself use them, the free MindSpot support with Cognative Behavioural Therapy, and then I read about REBT (Rational Emotional Behavioural Therapy) which is the foundation of CBT. Lifechanging. It helps you notice the unhealthy core beliefs (not good enough, too many 'shoulds', and the BIG one- that you are a failure script that sounds like you are running and the sabotage techniques we all use) and helps you build helpful beliefs and deal with unhelpful thoughts.
So there's help out there.
With my daughter two years, it got to the stage that I thought she would drop out, such was the level of her stress. What we did in the end was she did drop a subject, then went unscored. So she passed Year 12, but was unable to go to University. She will be 21 this year, and there is that potential to go next year as it's easier once you are 21. But still, it's a fallout of going unscored, but it really helped her, and she got a part time job.
She too was tired all the time and was diagnosed with depression. She tried the antidepressants and didn't like how it made her feel so gave up alcohol and started to open up to her friends. She too, wasn't ready to grow up.
For me, it was a matter of supporting her. Growing up sucks anyway, but it's something that has to be done. I presented to her that it's only a change, and how much she will gain. To this end I waited until she felt ready and she has done driving lessons and now has a car. She also has a boyfriend and life is so much better for her.
From this all I can say is seek support. Look at your subjects and your goals. Should you defer year 12? Go unscored? If you seek help both at school and with family and external support with mental health, will it make things easier for you?
I hope this helps and things will get better.
Cheers
Red Gum.
