Difficulty meeting potential friends outside school

[tombraider]

This is my first post on here.

I recently turned sixteen and attend distance education as of this year after my anxiety and depression kept me from attending regular school. I'm much happier in distance education, but it's not exactly conducive to forming friendships and I'm feeling more and more isolated and lonely. My family is mostly very supportive and I have retained a few close friends from my previous school - but I feel that I'm always the one initiating the conversations, and as my closest friend (and crush) has very similar and severe issues, I feel bad asking her to hang out all the time, both because I don't want to put pressure on her and because I feel that she doesn't enjoy my company. I've considered joining groups in my city - bookclubs and that sort of thing - but they all seem to be composed of people far older than me. When I was admitted to psychiatric care last year after my anxiety stopped me from going to school for quite a while, I made several friends and even dated a fellow patient for a while, though we're no longer together. That sort of solidarity was so important to me that at one point, I didn't want to go home.

I suppose I'm asking how people my age make and keep friends outside school. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

[quirkywords]

Tombraider

I want to welcome you the forum thank you for your honesty. You have such insight into what you need in friends and what works and does not work for you. I did not have a clue at your age and don't have much insight now!!

It is a long time since I was 16 . I can see that having friends who understand your issues is important to you but you want to meet more people. Are there any sccial groups near you just for people your age or sporting groups? Are you interested in drama,singing, films ect as there may be classes/groups available near you? Bushwalking?

My ideas maybe a bit outdated or not things you are interested in but just thought I would try to help.

All the best

Quirky

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Tombraider,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

Okay, I've had a think, and here are my suggestions -

- Who are you doing your distance education through? Is it done through a college/your school? Is there any group activities or teamwork stuff to do? This might be a way to try and find some people

- Facebook and other social media. It's a bit cliche I know but I've meet a lot of really nice people on it and it definately makes it easier talking to someone online when the anxiety is high.

- The bookclub group you mentioned. So what if they're old? Old people can be fun too. Besides - you never know who they might introduce you to. Even if they're 60/80 they may kids/grandkids who you'd get along really well with.

- Friends and friends of friends. You mentioned in your post that you don't feel she enjoys your company; how do you know? Did she say this?

- Google. You mentioned 'in your city' which makes me think jackpot because there are always lots of people in the city. You could search anything from 'anxiety groups' to 'teen groups' or check out your local community centre/mental health team to see what they have - or even libraries? They often advertise things specific to young people.

[Jamie C.]

Hey Tombraider,

I understand how you feel, I've never really had a deep connection or friendship with anyone. I am really close with my best friend but recently we've lost touch because I have been isolating myself. Due to my severe struggle with bulimia and low self worth, I find it difficult to communicate with even those closest to me.

I can't give much advice, because I am very shy when it comes to talking to new people, but I think the best thing to do would to just keep trying, keep talking to new people and find similar things you both might be interested in, and maybe then you could find more long term friendships or even just a few friendly acquaintances who you could build a bigger friendship with.

I hope my advice helped, and if it was no good, just letting you know that there a millions of other people out there like you, and you aren't alone. xox